SoCS – Drinking coffee doesn’t make it better, but it sure does taste good

Something happened during the week and as much as I consider myself a functional human being and a survivor, sometimes an event occurs that lays me low.  I haven’t been affected by something quite like this for a long time, so it took me a bit by surprise.

I’ve seen other bloggers post that they need some time off, but I never imagined I would need to do that.  Writing is my release, after all.  But this time, the only thing I wanted to write had to do with the “event” and I’m not sure writing about it would have done my blog any services.  Besides, it’s personal and I believe some things need to stay that way.

I’m still not completely back, but I believe I’m in a better place today than I was a few days ago.

I’m finding comfort this morning in drinking some pretty amazing coffee, seeing my family busy starting their Saturday and despite the shadow over my heart, the sun is shining brightly.

Isn’t it strange how drinking coffee can be such a social event?  My fiance can no longer drink coffee and I have to say, it isn’t quite the same enjoying a cup without him.  I also find it strange that despite logic, we look to a drink of coffee or alcohol to make everything better.  Even knowing it doesn’t, I still find myself turning to it sometimes.

But in the last two days it wasn’t coffee or alcohol that helped me get through the days.  It was the people closest to me and for that, I’m extremely grateful.  Thank you for being there.  Thank you for listening and most of all, thanks for the love.

Happy Saturday everyone!

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “drink.” Use it as a noun or a verb. Have fun! Please feel free to click the link and join in the fun.



SoCS – Putting one foot in front of the other

I always do this to myself. I always run myself into the ground and get to a point where I can barely function and I have to just focus on putting one foot in front of another and just taking one breathe at a time until I settle back into life and everything I’ve signed myself up for. This time, I didn’t even realize it was happening; didn’t even plan to take a break, but when it happened, I realized I needed it and was happy I was able to relax and let it happen, not over think it as I usually do everything.

Starting the new job at the beginning of February, I was excited and scared and all the emotions that come with a new job. I’ve settled into it a bit now and am realizing I’m in a whole different ball game than I found myself playing in my last job. I actually have to work when I’m at work now and I work so much in the eight hours I’m there that when I get home, all I want to do is vegetate on the couch and watch mindless television. I’m happy to say that I know this is a short-lived phenomenon; one in which I just need to get used to this change, but once I do, I can start adding things back into my life.

February was one of those months where I knew I was pushing it, but I did it anyway, so I’m not surprised it led to a non-planned break.

It doesn’t help that my boyfriend’s schedule also changed so, YAY!, we get to spend more time together, but it’s harder to find time for myself where I can just write my thoughts on a page for a half an hour before he gets home. He’s usually home before me now and I have to say, men can be needy creatures! (They aren’t any more needy than women, so that was just a funny little thing to say that doesn’t mean I have anything against my boyfriend and how he just wants me next to him, talking to him about our days when we’re home together; in fact, it’s actually pretty nice!)

Here is a short list of the things I did manage to do this week (although, none of it was something I accomplished, so not sure if it’s something to celebrate or not…):

  • I tried to file my taxes. Starting on Tuesday, I came home from work each night expecting to actually file my taxes, but it’s difficult when each new question is one that only Adelle can answer so I’ve had to wait until the next day for the answer and the next new question. I finally made it to the end last night, but I’m waiting for a pesky form that only Adelle has access to (somewhere in Internet-land) and she’s been on vacation, so that has to wait for Monday. *sigh*
  • I finally managed to get to a point in the book I’m reading where I’m enjoying it and it’s starting to read more smoothly. I have to admit that the first 50 – 100 pages were a slog fest and I was having a hard time getting into it. I’m also not entirely sure I like reading about grisly remains. It’s one thing to see it on TV in short glimpses, but it’s quite another thing to read about it in detail. I’m more than half way through the book now and am having the feeling that I can’t wait to find out what happens.
  • I managed to go to bed super early every night and actually got quite a bit of sleep. There were some nights where I didn’t get a full 8 hours, but I did better this week than I’ve done in the past. (Once again, YAY! to the boyfriend having a job where he actually has to get out of bed early, so he’s more willing to go to bed earlier. But it does make me feel a bit old, heading to bed at 9pm.)

So, there you have it. It might not seem like a lot, but this week really was about putting one foot in front of another and taking a break from the stress that was percolating under the surface of my life. I’m feeling more relaxed and like I can move forward now.

How about you. How was your week?

Written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G Hill. Our prompt this week was “pat/pet/pit/pot/put.” Feel free to click the link and join in the stream of words onto the page.