#JustJoJan Day 18 – Revolt (to a certain degree)

I consider myself a pretty decent person.  Sure I get upset and I’ve done some bad things in my life, but I think I’ve lived a pretty normal life without too much trouble.  I also realized today that I’ve always been somewhat afraid to revolt against authority figures or the “system”.  I even have a hard time raising hell in a restaurant when my food is wrong.  I will usually just pick at it, pay for it and then leave.

I don’t know.  I think I’ve gotten better in some ways, but today I had to deal with the fact that I am firmly in rebellion.

I have a bill from a doctor’s office that I am refusing to pay.  I’ve said things like that before, but I’ve always caved when things got hard and just ended up paying it or whatever.  Not this time.  This time, I am prepared to go the distance.

The great thing about today is that I finally decided to stop dealing with the doctor’s office altogether, because they so obviously don’t want to deal with me.  Since they blamed my EOB and the fact that they need to bill me how my insurance company paid the claim, I decided to give them a call.

I wasn’t calling them to ask for help.  I honestly just wanted to know why they paid the claim the way they did so I could go back to the doctor’s office armed with more information.  Information is always a good thing, especially when someone is trying to use it against you.

I was humbled and amazed that the insurance company actually helped me.  After hearing my story, the lady on the phone decided to give my claim an exception and she is going to submit the claim for processing (even though it was out of network).  Not only that, she said I could file an appeal if they try to bill me for the remaining balance.  She basically said they should be writing it off, but if they aren’t going to do it nicely, then we have other ways of getting it done.

I honestly cried.  This has been such a nightmare and I’m just happy I found someone who agreed with me and is willing to help me.

I plan on never going to that clinic again.  Now that I’m thinking about it, I should honestly post their information on Facebook and what-not, but I’m not at that stage yet.  I guess I’m in revolt, but only to a certain degree.

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, revolt, was suggested to us Sandra at What Sandra Thinks.

#JustJoJan Day 16 – Contemplation

I spend a lot of time contemplating things.  I could blame it on being a writer, but sometimes I will get lost in thought about what happened at dinner last night or that conversation I had with my son on Sunday.  I think I woke up in the middle of the night about that one.  I honestly thought maybe I’d expressed my opinion too strongly for my fourteen-year-old, so I texted him the next day to make sure he was okay.  Of course, his response was, “I actually kinda enjoyed that conversation, it was fun.”

It’s amazing how the more you contemplate something, the more it changes or becomes something else.  I’d convinced myself that he was scarred for life!

I think this is also true for life in general.  If you just take a deep breath and stop thinking so much about it and dwelling on it, it will most likely pass and you’ll feel better.  That isn’t always the case, but I think it’s a good general rule.

I have gained some weight in the last two years, but for some reason, in the last two months, I was convinced I was going to break the scale if I stood on it.  Having received my brand new elliptical last week, I made it a point to check my weight so I could track my progress going forward.  It honestly wasn’t as bad as I’d convinced myself it would be.  Do I need to lose some pounds?  Hell yes!  But I definitely don’t need to spend time contemplating it and telling myself over and over again how awful I look.  Why are we so mean to ourselves?

The good news is that I can make the change.  I’ve exercised two nights in a row now and I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time!

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, contemplation, was suggested to us Cheryl at The Bag Lady.

#JustJoJan Day 15 – Justice, sometimes served daily

I don’t know how it happened, but I am all about watching and listening to true crime.  It’s such a weird thing because I used to steer clear of it when I was younger.  There can be some pretty disturbing things, and believe me, I’ve listened to some lately.  I was listening to an episode of Sword and Scale (a wonderful Podcast, by the way) and the host gave a very strong warning at the beginning of it.  I thought he was maybe going a little overboard and it honestly made me want to to listen even more.

I should have listened to the warning.  It was pretty terrible, and I ended up fast-forwarding to the end to find out if justice was served.  I think that’s the draw in a lot of ways, hearing or seeing that the “bad” buy got arrested and thrown in jail for a long time.

However, it doesn’t always work out that way.  Every time we start watching one of these types of shows, the hubby will say, “I sure hope this isn’t one of those episodes where the killer is never caught.”  It’s hard to sit through one of those episodes only to find out that they are still searching for the bad guy or even worse, that the justice system failed and they were set free.

The more I listen to them and watch them, I’m starting to realize that there is never really a clear answer.  There are cases where all the evidence and signs point to a certain person and they can sort of recreate what happened from that evidence, but for the most part, the only ones who ever really know the truth are the ones who were there.

There was one story where a woman was found dead at the bottom of her stairs and the husband was convicted of the crime, but he swears he didn’t do it.  Now, there is someone involved in the case who says the evidence points to an owl.  He believes an owl attacked this woman and she ran inside only to die at the bottom of the stairs.  Honestly, after watching her husband and her kids and listening to the story and this new far-fetched idea, I sort of think it is more plausible than the husband.

It’s all just so interesting.  I think that’s what keeps me listening and searching for new shows and podcasts.  It also helps with story ideas, so I suppose that’s another plus.

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, justice, was suggested to us by Barb at Gallimaufry.

#JustJoJan Day 12 – Aggravation at it’s finest and me at my worst

My hubby and kids know the best way to aggravate me is to talk during a movie or TV show.  You’d think they’d stop doing it because they know, but no.  Thank god we have a pause button now so that no matter what we’re watching, I can pause it and give them that blank stare that means shut the hell up.

Just the other night, we were watching a show and the hubby thought one of the guys looked weird so he starting talking to my son and before you know it, they’re having a full blown conversation about this guys eyes or something.  I finally paused the show and said, “By all means, let’s have a conversation.”  That doesn’t mean to keep talking, but being male, they both took it as permission and kept right on going.  I pretty much lost my shit.  It wasn’t cute.

I talk during movies and shows, but there is honestly a right way to do it.  You talk when music is playing or when the scenes change.  There are always little bits of time when not much is going on.  But please, please, please don’t do it right when the characters launch into a conversation that reveals plot details!  I don’t understand it and I’m sure it will always aggravate me.

I have learned to breathe, though.  I’ve learned that it’s okay to hit the pause button and patiently wait.  I’m sure that if you asked the hubby he would say that I never just patiently wait, but I do try.  What I can’t understand is why they continue to do it when they know it bugs the crap out of me!

I know, I know… life is too short and is that TV show or movie really that important?  Well, no, but I’m a storyteller at heart and I can’t have an incomplete story.  I just can’t!

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, aggravate, was suggested to us by Fandango at This, That, and the Other.

SoCS – Storytelling and History

The book I’m currently reading is “A Feast for Crows” by George R.R. Martin.  It doesn’t really inspire happy thoughts does it?

The first thing that really came to mind was the quote from the book that I texted to my sister because I knew she would find it interesting, if nothing else.  “I prefer my history dead.  Dead history is writ in ink, the living sort in blood.”  I found the quote so interesting and so did she.  It makes me think every time I read it, but it especially makes me think of my sister and her chosen profession.

She majored in history, which I found to be rather odd.  I always hated history in school, but now that I’m thinking about it, I think I disliked it because the teachers always made us remember dates and significant events.  I think if they’d focused more on the amazing stories, I probably would have found more to peak my interest.

My sister is currently working on a project for the university she works for.  She is interviewing World War II veterans and they are compiling everything they can get their hands on.  I somehow found myself in the middle of this project because they needed help transcribing the interviews and I rather flippantly told my sister I could type pretty fast and I could “totally do that”, even though it’s not something I’ve ever done.  Honestly, it was just one of those conversations you have while drinking and talking at a party, but you never really think anything is going to come of it.

However, two days later, I had one of those interviews and I was transcribing it so I could show them and myself how fast I was.  I suppose I didn’t do too badly because they are sending more my way.

The whole point is, though, that I thought I would hate listening to the interviews, but I actually found it so interesting.  This wasn’t a matter of random facts that I had to memorize in school; this was another human being who laughed and talked about his time in the army.  I’m starting to realize that maybe history isn’t such a bad thing and I’ve always turned my nose up at it for all the wrong reasons.

I mean, some of my favorite things are basically about history, like Hamilton (although I realize that is only based on historical events) and some of the podcasts I’m listening to.  If you really break it down, though, it’s about storytelling, and that is exactly what I love.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill.  Today’s prompt is “book title.” Take the title of the book you’re currently reading or the one sitting closest to you when you’re ready to write your SoCS post and base your post on the title only.


#frapalymo – Love Affair

Love Affair

The slow building of restless emotion
Pulse quickening
Soft gasps escaping from throat and lungs
My heart is taken
Stolen by words
Morphing into fantastic worlds
Spinning their way around me
Holding me gently in their soft grasp
A love affair
Forever bound across typewritten pages

#frapalymo is hosted by @FrauPaulchen and is translated by Bee on her blog The Bee writes. Today’s prompt wasn’t completely translatable, but Bee helped us out and gave us the prompt “falling in love.” I also gleaned from the translation that it was about art and being creative, so I wrote a poem about both.

Thank you to all my readers for the support this month. I always knew I loved poetry, but I didn’t realize how much I loved it until I was forced to create a new poem every day. I will definitely participate again. Thanks again to Bee for putting all the hard work into the translations and making it easier for those of us who don’t speak German. I know some of them were difficult and I truly appreciate all she did.