SoCS – Sunshine in the midst of rain

I’ve been feeling pretty sorry for myself lately.  Oh, there’s been moments of light where I realize things are going pretty well, but for the most part, my brain spends many, many hours a day drenched in negativity.  It was actually a breath of fresh air to wake up to Facebook this morning and its sometimes annoying “memory” of the day.

Today, it gave me a post of my “Spring Memories”.  It was heart-warming to see the photos because my Spring memories are full of hospitals, pain, pain meds and healing.  Not to mention the nasty thoughts that swirl around my brain, creating an alternate reality.

It’s sometimes hard to remember that I GOT MARRIED!  I also went on the best hike with my boys on Mother’s day.  It was one of the more perfect Mother’s days I can remember, to be honest.  Then there was the fact that my husband survived heart surgery…!

We are trying to look at the whole thing as a positive because, you know, he’s still here.  But sometimes it’s so easy to only focus on the two weeks in the hospital, the terror of wondering if I would ever see him alive again and the freshly healing scars.  It’s hard to see the sunshine when it seems that the rain is pouring down and the clouds are darkening every day and there doesn’t seem to be a break in sight.

The reality is that the clouds dissipated for days at a time, and there was so much sunshine.  I’m just wondering when my brain is going to catch up…

I suppose I should remember that I’m not a slave to my thoughts.  It’s not like my brain has some demon entity in there controlling my thoughts and making me miserable all day, every day, even though it seems like it.  The logical part of me remembers that depression doesn’t define who I am, but the emotional part of me wonders if I’m strong enough to hold the demon at bay.

Anyway, this is just another reminder today that life is worth living and there are moments of joy even in the midst of the worst times.

It’s my goal to return to the things that make the depression easier to bear – writing and exercising.  Although, the exercise may have to wait another month or so because my 40-year old body just doesn’t heal as quickly from surgery as it used to and two surgeries for me in less than six months just about did me in.

Happy Saturday everyone!


Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is “rain/rein/reign”.

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Song Lyric Sunday – When the Rain Comes by Citizen Zero

Citizen Zero has been my new favorite band for a while now.  When I first heard their album last year, I immediately fell in love and couldn’t wait to see them live in concert.  Surprisingly, I didn’t have to wait as long as I thought  I would.  They actually came to our city in February and I bought tickets almost the same day I found out.

As I’ve mentioned, the guitarist, Sammy, is my co-worker’s son.  I met him after the concert while standing in line for merchandise.  Not only is he freaking AMAZING on the guitar, he is also the most humble, sweetest guy.

Listening to this song, I’m reminded that although rain can be dark and dreary, it can also be beautiful in its gloom.  When it comes to an end, it leaves the world a little fresher and cleaner then when it arrived.  I don’t think I could live in a climate with constant rain, but I would miss it if I never experienced it again.

So, here’s to my renewed love for rain.  I hope you enjoy the song and the band as much as I do!

When the Rain Comes by Citizen Zero
Lyrics by Citizen Zero (I’m assuming)
I actually wrote the lyrics out since I couldn’t find them anywhere online.  There were a few words I was unsure about, but I think the basics are there.

I woke up
To my own footsteps on the roof
Still chilled from
The dance we shared the night before

So ungraceful
I stumbled over you
And just fell down
Into the ground

Still stumbling
I found my way back home alone
And just stayed up
To watch the rain fall

And when those clouds roll in
That shade me from the sun
Colors fade to blacks and grays
When the rain comes
When the rain comes

Rain, rain come today
And bring me a new day
And wash away
Pieces of my every day

Still stumbling
I found my way back home alone
And just stayed up
To watch the rain come

And when those clouds roll in
That shade me from the sun
Colors fade to blacks and grays
When the rain comes
When the rain comes
When the rain comes

And when those clouds roll in
That shade me from the sun
Colors fade to blacks and grays
When the rain comes

And when those clouds roll in
That shade me from the sun
Colors fade to blacks and grays
When the rain comes


The Song Lyric Sunday theme for this week was to post a song about rain.  Please feel free to click the link, read the rules and post one of your own.

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Friday Fictioneers – The Forecast

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PHOTO PROMPT © Janet Webb

The rain is pelting faster and harder than anyone could have expected.  Laughing at the madness, I somehow remember the weather forecast from the morning news: “We might see some scattered showers in the late afternoon, so enjoy your sunny morning, folks.”

I also remember the thought that floated through my mind and then vanished when I left the house that morning, running late for work as usual: What sun?  There’s nothing but clouds out here.

Would it have made a difference if we’d known?

Looking out the store window where I’d run for shelter, I watch as the water rises higher every second.

No, it probably wouldn’t have helped.


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction prompt where we are given a photo and asked to write a 100 word story – beginning, middle and end. This one came in at 110 words.

Click on the blue froggy to read other amazing 100-word stories!

English #frapalymo Day 20 – The Coming Storm

Wind howls through the trees
As clouds slowly fill the sky
White turns to gray
The air hangs heavy
Promising rain
Lightning strikes
Thunder cracks
Rage echoes across the horizon
Gray clouds turn to black
Wet drops spew from the heavens


#frapalymo is hosted by @FrauPaulchen and is translated by Bee on her blog Just Fooling Around with Bee.  Today’s prompt is ” a ten line text”.  There’s a storm brewing outside and I couldn’t help but verse about it.  I hope you enjoy!

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Feel free to play along.  Here are Bee’s suggestions:

  1. read the translation of @FrauPaulchen’s prompt
  2.  write your English (German if you can/want to) poem on your blog and tag it with “English #frapalymo.”
  3. use the “English #frapalymo” picture if you want to
  4. set a link to the translated prompt here on Bee’s blog
  5. visit other links posted here and if you want to/can those posted with the hashtag #fapalymo on Twitter
  6. The Bee will post your link to the German #frapalymo and translate for you if you want to. Now go, create and have lots of fun!

English #frapalymo Day 9 – That Sinfully Rich Delight

Dark clouds rumble in the distance
Promising days of endless torment
Rain splashing on windows
Wind cutting through layers
Looming cold and grey

Bask in the sunlight
Soak up the heat
Enjoy it while you can
Soon you’ll be longing for any sign
Of that sinfully, rich delight


#frapalymo is hosted by @FrauPaulchen and is translated by Bee on her blog Just Fooling Around with Bee.  Today’s prompt is “sun-rich”.  Apparently, in other parts of the world, they are actually seeing the sun.  This poem was wrenched from my longing for just a little more of it.  I miss it very much!

frapalymo

Feel free to play along.  Here are Bee’s suggestions:

  1. read the translation of @FrauPaulchen’s prompt
  2.  write your English (German if you can/want to) poem on your blog and tag it with “English #frapalymo.”
  3. use the “English #frapalymo” picture if you want to
  4. set a link to the translated prompt here on Bee’s blog
  5. visit other links posted here and if you want to/can those posted with the hashtag #fapalymo on Twitter
  6. The Bee will post your link to the German #frapalymo and translate for you if you want to. Now go, create and have lots of fun!

Five Photos Five Stories Challenge – Day One

Photo by Jaxon Espinosa

Photo by Jaxon Espinosa

 Nature’s Rain

Silky showers tumble from bursting clouds
The wind heralding its arrival
The world arises with a thunderous shout
Leaves rustle, branches snap
The aroma of damp earth permeates
Around the lazy curl of soft petals
Dew drops bead on velvet surfaces
Arms outstretched, face turned up
Greedily drinking in the torrential downpour


A big thank you to Prajakta for nominating me for the “Five Photos Five Stories” challenge. It’s only taken me about a month to actually do it! Here are the rules: “Post a photo each day for five consecutive days and attach a story to the photo. It can be fiction or non-fiction, a poem or a short paragraph and each day nominate another blogger for the challenge.”

I am lucky enough to have an amazing son who has taken up an interest in photography, so all the photos I am using were taken by him.

Today, my nomination goes out to Catastrophe Jones.

#frapalymo – Rainstorm

Rainstorm

Incessant rain falls from indignant clouds
Lightning flashes followed by crackling thunder

Mother Earth hums a melody out loud
New growth awakens in tranquil wonder


#frapalymo is hosted by @FrauPaulchen and is translated by Bee on her blog The Bee writes. I know Bee is on Holiday and hasn’t posted the prompt yet, so I went digging and found FrauPaulchen’s blog and put it into Google translator and voilà! (Sorry I stole your job, Bee, I just didn’t have time to wait today but I still wanted to post a poem.)

Today’s prompt was to write a Pantun poem, which I had never heard of. I went to a Wikipedia page but it didn’t help quite as much as this website here. Basically, it’s a four line poem with a rhyme scheme of a,b,a,b and the line lengths are between 8 and 12 syllables.

I was inspired by all the rain we’ve had in the past month or so. I know we need it, but I’m honestly looking forward to a few days of sunshine!

frapalymo