#JustJoJan Day 16 – Contemplation

I spend a lot of time contemplating things.  I could blame it on being a writer, but sometimes I will get lost in thought about what happened at dinner last night or that conversation I had with my son on Sunday.  I think I woke up in the middle of the night about that one.  I honestly thought maybe I’d expressed my opinion too strongly for my fourteen-year-old, so I texted him the next day to make sure he was okay.  Of course, his response was, “I actually kinda enjoyed that conversation, it was fun.”

It’s amazing how the more you contemplate something, the more it changes or becomes something else.  I’d convinced myself that he was scarred for life!

I think this is also true for life in general.  If you just take a deep breath and stop thinking so much about it and dwelling on it, it will most likely pass and you’ll feel better.  That isn’t always the case, but I think it’s a good general rule.

I have gained some weight in the last two years, but for some reason, in the last two months, I was convinced I was going to break the scale if I stood on it.  Having received my brand new elliptical last week, I made it a point to check my weight so I could track my progress going forward.  It honestly wasn’t as bad as I’d convinced myself it would be.  Do I need to lose some pounds?  Hell yes!  But I definitely don’t need to spend time contemplating it and telling myself over and over again how awful I look.  Why are we so mean to ourselves?

The good news is that I can make the change.  I’ve exercised two nights in a row now and I feel better than I’ve felt in a long time!

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, contemplation, was suggested to us Cheryl at The Bag Lady.

#JustJoJan Day 15 – Justice, sometimes served daily

I don’t know how it happened, but I am all about watching and listening to true crime.  It’s such a weird thing because I used to steer clear of it when I was younger.  There can be some pretty disturbing things, and believe me, I’ve listened to some lately.  I was listening to an episode of Sword and Scale (a wonderful Podcast, by the way) and the host gave a very strong warning at the beginning of it.  I thought he was maybe going a little overboard and it honestly made me want to to listen even more.

I should have listened to the warning.  It was pretty terrible, and I ended up fast-forwarding to the end to find out if justice was served.  I think that’s the draw in a lot of ways, hearing or seeing that the “bad” buy got arrested and thrown in jail for a long time.

However, it doesn’t always work out that way.  Every time we start watching one of these types of shows, the hubby will say, “I sure hope this isn’t one of those episodes where the killer is never caught.”  It’s hard to sit through one of those episodes only to find out that they are still searching for the bad guy or even worse, that the justice system failed and they were set free.

The more I listen to them and watch them, I’m starting to realize that there is never really a clear answer.  There are cases where all the evidence and signs point to a certain person and they can sort of recreate what happened from that evidence, but for the most part, the only ones who ever really know the truth are the ones who were there.

There was one story where a woman was found dead at the bottom of her stairs and the husband was convicted of the crime, but he swears he didn’t do it.  Now, there is someone involved in the case who says the evidence points to an owl.  He believes an owl attacked this woman and she ran inside only to die at the bottom of the stairs.  Honestly, after watching her husband and her kids and listening to the story and this new far-fetched idea, I sort of think it is more plausible than the husband.

It’s all just so interesting.  I think that’s what keeps me listening and searching for new shows and podcasts.  It also helps with story ideas, so I suppose that’s another plus.

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, justice, was suggested to us by Barb at Gallimaufry.

SoCS and #JustJoJan Day 13 – In The Stern

Oh, Linda.  You always provide such interesting prompts.  At first, I was stumped because I don’t have newspapers or magazines in the house, but then I realized she also mentioned books and lucky for me, I am sitting right next to a book case.  I grabbed the first book that my eyes landed on and found the following words: “in the stern”.

This was a terrible pick for me because I am not at all inspired by boats.  I almost went with something different, but this is Stream of Conscious style writing and I’m sure we were meant to go with the first one.  So, that leaves me with taking those three words and not being so literal about them.

I can’t decide if I’m a good mom or if I am miserably failing.  I’m not very stern with them.  I used to be (when they were really little), but none of us enjoyed that very much and I can tell you, I didn’t like how it made me feel.  I realize kids need direction and they need guidance, but I’m not sure yelling and carrying on at them is the best way to handle things.

Friday’s are a late start day for the kids, which is all sorts of retarded for them and parents, other than the fact that they get to sleep in a little bit.  I went to work yesterday fully intending to call my youngest, because I just had this feeling that he was going to sleep in.  He’s usually pretty reliable, but it’s happened before, so I figure I need to do better about calling him and helping him out.

However, once I got to work, I got busy and completely forgot about it.  Around ten, I finally remembered, but at that point it was too late.  I figured he was either at school or home in bed and once he’s late, it’s harder to get him motivated to get to school.  He ended up calling me at 12:30, having just woken up for the day.  I told him he’s missed a lot of school this year and he needs to do better.

Would it have helped to get mad and yell at him?  I don’t think so.  Perhaps I could have been more stern with him.  I don’t know.  What I do know is that it’s a constant battle of wondering how best to respond to their actions.


Just Jot It January and Stream of Consciousness Saturday are hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s prompt is: “When you’re ready to sit down and write your post, look to the publication (book, newspaper, permission slip from your kid’s teacher, whatever you find) closest to you, and base your post on the sixth, seventh, and eighth word from the beginning of the page. Enjoy!”


#JustJoJan Day 12 – Aggravation at it’s finest and me at my worst

My hubby and kids know the best way to aggravate me is to talk during a movie or TV show.  You’d think they’d stop doing it because they know, but no.  Thank god we have a pause button now so that no matter what we’re watching, I can pause it and give them that blank stare that means shut the hell up.

Just the other night, we were watching a show and the hubby thought one of the guys looked weird so he starting talking to my son and before you know it, they’re having a full blown conversation about this guys eyes or something.  I finally paused the show and said, “By all means, let’s have a conversation.”  That doesn’t mean to keep talking, but being male, they both took it as permission and kept right on going.  I pretty much lost my shit.  It wasn’t cute.

I talk during movies and shows, but there is honestly a right way to do it.  You talk when music is playing or when the scenes change.  There are always little bits of time when not much is going on.  But please, please, please don’t do it right when the characters launch into a conversation that reveals plot details!  I don’t understand it and I’m sure it will always aggravate me.

I have learned to breathe, though.  I’ve learned that it’s okay to hit the pause button and patiently wait.  I’m sure that if you asked the hubby he would say that I never just patiently wait, but I do try.  What I can’t understand is why they continue to do it when they know it bugs the crap out of me!

I know, I know… life is too short and is that TV show or movie really that important?  Well, no, but I’m a storyteller at heart and I can’t have an incomplete story.  I just can’t!

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, aggravate, was suggested to us by Fandango at This, That, and the Other.

#JustJoJan Day 11 – Trying to be right for all the wrong reasons

I don’t think anyone likes to be humiliated.  I definitely don’t, but I don’t even like the tiny humiliations that other people find hilarious.  I’m thinking it started at an early age.  I’m a natural redhead, so any time I was the slightest bit embarrassed, my face and neck would turn bright red and then the comments would start coming.  “Look how red she is!” The dumb thing is that still happens today.  You’d think at my age, I wouldn’t find things to be embarrassed about, but I do.

I think it comes with being a perfectionist.  I want to be right, dammit, so when someone feeds me a story and I totally believe them, I feel like a complete idiot!

Probably the best story (I can’t even believe I’m sharing this), is when my ex-husband asked me if I knew who “The Fonz” was.  I had no idea, but I tried really hard to act like I knew what I was talking about, so I said, “Do you mean Fozzie?”

He laughed so hard, I thought he was going to choke.  He was not talking about Fozzie Bear, but I jumped at the only thing I could think of.  I have never watched Happy Days, but I did watch the Muppet Show as a kid.  I don’t know, I sort of think the Muppets are way cooler…

He had many laughs at my expense over that story.  I tried to laugh along too, but I didn’t really think it was fair or nice to be the brunt of his jokes.  When you don’t know something, you simply don’t know, and getting laughed at for not knowing is pretty hurtful.

I think that is one of the main reasons I hardly ever guess when people ask me questions.  I like to be right, but more importantly, it is humiliating when you’re so wrong that people end up laughing at you.

People tell me I need to lighten up, but maybe it’s okay to be a sensitive person who is humiliated easily and turns red when talking in front of a crowd.


Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, humiliate, was suggested to us by Jim at A Unique Title for Me.

#JustJoJan Day 9 – Daily Dose of Coffee

Coffee and I haven’t always been on good terms.  I can say that I’ve always loved the aroma of coffee, though.  I remember walking through some store when I was younger and commenting that I loved the smell of coffee.  Now that I’m trying to bring up the memory, I can’t seem to recall which store it was or why it smelled like coffee.  I do, however, remember that I was raised to believe that coffee was bad.

Now, I can’t even imagine why.  It’s a bean, for goodness sake.  It is also an allowed drink on a diet (minus the creamer and sugar) so that’s good enough for me!

When I first drank coffee, there was a lot of cream and sugar in it and I can’t really say I enjoyed it.  Now, I enjoy it on a daily basis and even spent an entire summer drinking it entirely black.  That wasn’t my favorite, to be honest, but I don’t put nearly as much creamer in it now as I did when I first started drinking it.

The thing that makes me laugh is that I forget about the caffeine part of it.  The last two times I was at the doctor’s office, I was complaining about some aches and pains and he asked me if I was a daily caffeine drinker.  I actually told him “no” both times, which is hilarious because I drink two cups of coffee a day.  When asked the question, I really only thought of soda (which is funny) and answered incorrectly.  I did amend my answer and the doctor kindly told me that if I cut back on caffeine, it could help.  (That hasn’t happened, yet, so I still have those aches and pains).

I’ve also become a coffee snob in many ways.  I blame it on the day job.  They have some pretty terrible coffee, and I endured it for about six months before I finally decided to bring my own from home.  The thing about it is that my hubby and I had decided to start buying Starbucks coffee because we didn’t make it every day and we deserve that one bit of goodness in our lives (on the weekend).  We can totally afford that, right?

Fast forward two years and I’m buying a bag of Starbucks coffee every two weeks for probably triple the price of Folgers.  I don’t even care, though, because it is just that good.

Just Jot It January is hosted by Linda G. Hill. Today’s word, coffee, was suggested to us by Barbara at teleportingweena.