SoCS – Superstition or Intuition?

I feel it is only fitting that I start posting again with Stream of Consciousness Saturday, even if I do feel rusty and my brain doesn’t seem to want to flow words in an SoCS way.  I’m going to struggle through it though, since I’ve decided to come back, if not full time, than at least for more than just once a week.

When I first read the prompt, I thought of the phrase, “See a penny pick it up, all day long you’ll have good luck.”  Is it weird that I always feel guilty when I see money lying on the ground?  Like I’m somehow hurting the person who dropped it, because maybe they will be back to get it?  Maybe they know it accidentally fell out of their pocket at random, and here I am stealing it from them.

I suppose it would be easier if I was a superstitious person.  I don’t consider myself one, but even as I think that, I’m reminded that I had this thing happen this week that could maybe be termed “superstitious.”

(I fully realize the following story doesn’t have a thing to do with coin, but I did arrive at it from the coin prompt, so hopefully that works…)

When we first started the whole house hunting/house selling process, we sort of started off backwards.  As we were getting the house ready to list, we were also out looking at houses.  We ended up finding and falling in love with a house, so we put an offer on it.  It was only a few days later that we listed our house, but we thought it would be okay because we were told we were approved for both.

Come to found out, we weren’t, and we had to go back to the Sellers of the house we had fallen in love with to cancel, because we still hadn’t sold ours.  We were both devastated because we didn’t believe they would wait for us to sell our house.  I guess you should never judge people based on a single encounter on paper…  They decided to wait for us to sell our house, although we had to be under contract by the end of October.

That all happened over last weekend, and my Fiance and I ended up having a conversation on Sunday about whether or not we could sell our house in a month.  I said, “I have a really good feeling about this week.  I think we’re going to get an offer.”

It didn’t happen until Thursday, but it did happen.  Does that make me superstitious?  Or do i just have a good intuition?  Are they the same thing?

Either way, we are finally in the waiting stage and crossing our fingers that this contract holds until the house is finally sold.  I might be moving in November, but I can blog until then.  Or at least that’s the plan.

Happy Saturday, everyone!!


Stream of Consciousness Saturday is hosted by Linda G. Hill. “Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “coin.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy! Feel free to click the link and join us in our stream of consciousness writing.

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How do you trust your intuition when fear of failure is so much louder?

I feel like I’ve always had a really strong intuition; the problem is, life has taught me to ignore it.  I suppose that sounds a bit like I’m not taking responsibility for my own actions, and maybe I’m not.

However, this could be something I can turn around and eventually unlearn all the things that bad experiences have taught me.

That’s probably why I’m writing this post – so I can work it out in my head and maybe come up with a plan.  But that sounds boring (even to me) to read, so I think I’ll just forego the planning stage and talk about the “wondering” stage.

I was at work today and received an IM from my boss.  She said she thought I needed to trust my intuition more; which I completely agree with.  I don’t know how many times I questioned something at work but didn’t say anything and later found out I was correct.  I even tell my boss (after the fact) when I noticed things that needed to be fixed or changed, but I can’t really offer a reason why I didn’t say anything.  At this point, I can only imagine she must think I am the most timid person in the world; which I’m not.

I think the biggest part of it is fear of failure.  Just yesterday, I made an assumption about something that my boss later told me I was completely wrong about.  So, where was my intuition then?  I’d like to say I was sick and not thinking straight, but I really have no excuse for that particular mistake.

Outside of work I have the same things happen, but it’s more in how I feel about things.  I had to take my son somewhere and found out his Dad would be there.  I had no reason to not want to go, but I really didn’t want to do it.  I thought my dread came from the fact that it was a baseball clinic in a gym on a Friday night.  Who wants to sit through that?  Well, maybe some people do, but I was bored just thinking about it.  But my feeling wasn’t about being bored.  It was a different type of feeling.

As you might expect, the night didn’t go very well and I ended up in tears.

Was my intuition telling me to be wary, to be aware and protective?  Perhaps, but why the hell is it always so confusing?  I think I’d hear it much better if it was more clear in its warnings and not just a weird lump of dread sitting in my belly for indiscernible reasons.

Or, was I just setting myself up for the situation that occurred?  You know the whole “what you think you create”?

Where’s the line and how do you know the difference?

I suppose the only thing we can do is exactly what I’ve mentioned – be aware; be present; listen and assess.  I’m assuming that old intuition can’t always be right, can it?