SoCS – Apparently, being a parent is hard

I don’t know why I’m stumped on this one.  Maybe it’s because I always talk about my kids and being a parent and it’s hard to just sit here and expound on thoughts and ideas I present all the time.  Or maybe I’m just making excuses.  It’s not like I don’t have ideas.  I’ve been sitting here thinking about it for a good half hour.  I think it’s more that there are too many ideas and I don’t even know where to start…

I was thinking about when Adelle was young.  She was always so independent.  I remember having battles with her as early as two or three about what she was going to wear.  How crazy is that?  Does it matter what she wears?  I can’t even remember why we argued… I think it’s because she had so many cute clothes and I liked them and wanted her to wear them, but she wanted to dress herself.  Why did I feel the need to argue with her about it?

Sometimes I believe that parents have issues with their children because they have ideas about what they should or shouldn’t be doing and rather than letting their children make decisions and learn, they try to force their own ideas on them.  I get that children need guidance along the way, but I also get that parents have a hard time letting go.

Adelle has said many times that she never got away with anything and Andru gets away with everything.  The sad reality is, I changed how I was parenting when Adelle was a little older, so she wasn’t able to reap the benefits of it at an early age.

I know some parents believe that if they let go, children will run wild, but my children are well-balanced and I haven’t had to deal with the teenage “horrors” that many parents worry about.

Children are human beings with thoughts and ideas all their own.  I believe they deserve our respect just like any other human being.  I dislike it when people condescend to me or talk down to me, but I’ve always disliked it, even when I was “a child”.  No one wants to feel like they are “less” than someone else, especially when that is based purely on age.

I love my children.  I love being a Mom.  It’s hard to find the right balance sometimes and I worry that I’m not doing it right or that I’m failing.  But it’s not like there’s a parent handbook out there… There isn’t a child handbook either.  So, maybe we should all be a little more forgiving, a little more understanding and let go just a little bit and allow our children to be human beings.

Happy Saturday everyone!

 


This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill.  Today’s prompt was “apparent/a parent.”  Use either one or both. You choose. Enjoy! Please feel free to click the link and join in the fun.

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Love Is In Da Blog – We’re All Human Beings

Bee’s prompt for Love Is In Da Blog today was to walk a mile in another’s shoes. I don’t mean to sound glib or full of myself, but when I thought about it, I realized this was something I already do; in fact, it’s something I’ve been doing since an early age.

I don’t know if it’s the Libra in me or just that I’m what some people might call an empath, but I have a hard time with injustice. When someone is shunned because of what they are wearing, or their religion or their sexual orientation, it really bothers me. I could never figure out why it happened, I still can’t. Aren’t we all human beings just trying to live this thing called life as best we can?

I remember as far back as junior high and high school (that seems like another lifetime ago), I always admired students who dressed more outlandishly (if that’s the correct word) – whether it was the “goth” kids or the “skaters” or the “hippies,” I always envied them because I felt they had more courage than me. Other students labeled them and shunned them for their choices. It probably explains why I never really attached to any specific group. I always talked to and hung out with whoever would have me. I didn’t pick and choose based on anything more than how nice someone was to me, or at least I tried not to.

I don’t believe in organized religion and some of the biggest reasons are that I found the judgments and rules were more harsh than they needed to be, if they needed to be at all. I asked my mom once, “What about someone like the Pope? He spends his entire life devoted to God. Are you telling me that because he’s not part of this specific religion, he won’t go to the highest levels of heaven?” She didn’t have a very good answer. No one ever did, which is probably why it never made any sense to me. Why be so exclusive? Why alienate someone because their beliefs aren’t exactly like mine? I find the strictures of religion don’t work for me in my life, but I try to be loving and kind to those who choose to follow a specific religion. I only wish I was given the same respect, at times.

This brings me to sexual orientation. I’ve had some pretty heated debates and disagreements with my own family on this. How can we, as human beings, tell someone else there is something wrong with them because of who they love or how they love? I will never understand it.

I was thinking it maybe had something to do with fighting depression my entire life. There’s always someone who says, “Just take a pill and it will get better,” or “Just walk outside, get some fresh air and you’ll feel better.” Sadly, these types of comments only made me feel even more like I was damaged or something was wrong with me because there wasn’t a good “reason” to be sad or down or not want to get out of bed. The saddest part is when you hear it from loved ones; people in your life who are supposed to love and support you no matter what; people who just want the sadness to disappear or want to attach a reason to it like it can all be bundled up in a package to be dealt with cleanly and without recurrence.

I’m not trying to compare depression to sexual orientation but I imagine they feel just as much hurt when someone tells them they just need to turn to God, or just try being like everyone else and it will pass; like they were born damaged and time and effort will magically cure them to be like everyone else. Only, who decided how to be human? What gives one human the right to tell another that theirs is the wrong path?

I don’t understand why we can’t be more accepting of each other. We are all human beings regardless of our color, sexual orientation, illnesses, age or anything else you can think of. I suppose the best way I can say it is to use the words from the song I already posted:

“Whatever God you believe in, we come from the same one. Strip away the fear, underneath it’s all the same love.”


 

This post is part of Love Is In Da Blog hosted by Bee. Feel free to click on the link and join in the love!

Love Is In Da Blog