SoCS – I’m finally posting

It’s been a long time since I submitted a post for SoCS. I honestly think about it every Saturday, but then it gets too late in the day and I just don’t. I have some pretty strange ideas about my blog. I don’t like posting more than once a day and when I do, I try to space them out so they aren’t all happening back to back. That’s probably counter-intuitive when you think about it, especially if I was looking to add viewers. At least, I think that’s how it works. But honestly, that’s not why I’m here. Don’t get me wrong, I love my followers and I’m always grateful that someone finds enough here to want to click that Follow button.

I’m here for the amazing community (which I suppose happens with followers?), and to write. I haven’t been writing much, though, which I am always hoping to change and one day I might decide to change that from a hope to a reality. For me, though, it’s not about the number of followers, it’s about interaction, and as we all know, there’s only a very small portion of our followers who actually interact.

I find it rather funny how a certain word prompt can take a post into a wholly different direction than planned. I was going to write about life and probably bitch about the fact that I started a diet three weeks ago and the stupid scale is being stubborn and not showing me the results I feel like I’m achieving. I guess the one consolation I have is that the inches are coming off and I’m fitting in my clothes better. That’s really all that matters, right? Then why is it that a number on a scale can have such a drastic effect? It really shouldn’t, but I can honestly say that I’m still seething about the number this morning.

This happened a few weeks ago and I talked to an online coach about it. She was just excited that I’d lost 2 pounds, but I was hoping for 5 or more, you know? I suppose I should celebrate the small victories and not get it into my head that I should be this number or that number.

With that, I will just say that I hope you all have an amazing Saturday, and let’s celebrate the small victories, as tiny as they may be sometimes!

Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is “post.” Use it as a word, or find a word that uses it as a prefix. Have fun!



SoCS – Summertime at its finest

When you find yourself on a Saturday morning wanting to write about something specific, but you check out the theme post and it has nothing to do with it, it makes for some interesting thoughts.  Rather than trying to make it all fit, I’m just going to write and I’ll try to get that pesky word in there.

As Linda mentioned, things are starting to heat up.  It is rather strange, though, because we didn’t really have a spring.  Either way, though, I’m happy we are heading into warmer weather.  It means more grilling and more hiking!

I am happy to report that this week, my exercise went almost exactly as planned.  There was only one day that I just couldn’t bring myself to get up at 5:30 am, but then I ended up coming home early (thanks Friday at work before Memorial Day) and banging it out.

When I went for my run last weekend, I was scared to death.  I wasn’t sure if I was going to hurt myself worse or if it was going to help my pain.  I ended up falling down some stairs last year, and ever since my back has been in pain.  It’s been something I’ve lived with on a daily basis and it has made life rather difficult.  I started seeing a physical therapist, and she pretty much told me I need to move.  After four visits, I was frustrated and upset, but I finally decided that if she wanted me to move, I could certainly do that.

It’s been almost a week since I went on my first run and I’ve gone on two additional runs and I am doing some cross-training on the off days.  Isn’t it weird how moving can be painful but can also lessen the pain?  My muscles hurt and I’m pretty exhausted (I’m SO not getting enough sleep), but somehow my back is actually feeling better!

There are also other benefits to doing some exercise every day.  My brain is happy and I just feel better!  I’m honestly really excited to be back at it again.  Hopefully, it will continue to help my back, rather than hurt it.

Today, my hubby and I are going on a hike.  I’m so excited to get outdoors and to see how far he can make it.  The last time we went, it was before heart surgery, so he really struggled.  He’s looking to see if he can go farther than last time, so we shall see.  Then, maybe we’ll break out the grill!  Summertime is the best, isn’t it?

Happy Saturday everyone!

Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is “grill.” Use it any way you’d like. Have fun!


SoCS – The empty feeling of not running

It has been a LONG time since I did an exercise or health post.  To be honest, I haven’t really exercised in ages and I’m far from healthy in terms of what I eat and how much weight I’ve gained in the past few years.  I decided to make a change (again) and instead of just jumping into something, I decided to make a plan.

I’m probably way over-thinking this, but that’s what I’m good at, so I will try not to let it get too out of hand.

I stopped running a few years ago (was it last year?) because I was in pain.  I went to a physical therapist once, but according to him, I had to relearn how to walk and run and I figured it just wasn’t worth it.  But I’m sort of missing it.  Now that it’s warmer, I see runners on the sidewalks and I am starting to realize that the empty feeling inside is longing.

I just had a thought today about when I went for my first run.  I did it because my sister told me that she had started running and she also told me how much she loved it.  My sister and I have this not so healthy competitive thing that happens with us, but this time, that competition got me up off my ass.  I was actually at her house, and the next morning I just got up and went for a run.  I didn’t have the right shoes.  I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.  I just did it.

Boy, was it hard!  I hurt for a few days and barely ran for most of the mile I was out, but at the same time it felt so good!  After that, I was hooked.  Pain sort of deals a blow to all that nostalgia that running can offer, but I think I’ve learned enough about my body to understand what I need to do.

I’d already decided that I was going to go for a run in the morning, but then the doubts started creeping in.  Is it going to hurt?  What if I can’t run very far?  What am I even doing?  Who am I kidding??  But then the voice of reason reminded me of that first run and I am all set.

This blogger is going for a run tomorrow morning.  I’m hoping that it will help dispel that empty/hollow feeling that’s been plaguing me.  Even if it doesn’t, I’m sure there will be other benefits to it.

Happy Saturday everyone!

Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is “empty/hollow.” Use one, use both, entirely up to you. Enjoy!


Mindful Monday – Getting Rid of Clutter

As I’m sitting down to write this, I’m realizing that the amazing thoughts I had yesterday are gone.  I was so excited to write this post because I knew exactly what it was going to be about, but now all my thoughts are jumbled and nothing sounds right.  I probably should have sat down and written it out right then, but I was busy.

So basically, I’m not much of a house cleaner.  I realized yesterday that it isn’t necessarily because I don’t like the act; I actually found it rather enjoyable.  As I got further into it, I realized that I’m so OCD about cleaning that I almost become spastic and I start seeing all the things that need to be done rather than focusing on the task in front of me.  I found it was better if I stayed in one place because if I left to put something away, I found myself stuck in that other room doing something in there.  It can make for a frustrating time of things.

I also had the epiphany yesterday that sometimes you don’t realize how much the clutter and chaos surrounding you is actually affecting you.  I literally removed two things from the kitchen and cleaned it really well and everyone in the house is saying how open it feels.  You’d think I had knocked out a few walls and added ten feet in all directions.

I really don’t like clutter, but we live in such a small space that it’s almost a given.  There just isn’t enough space for everything to have a place of its own.  I realized, though, that I stopped trying at a certain point because it was too hard.  But I’m finding that it makes a huge difference in just how it feels to be here.  Things are brighter and more comfortable.  I don’t even know if I can explain it, actually.

I think it relates to our thoughts in many ways.  Thoughts can clutter our minds so much that it makes it hard to just be in our own skin.  Sometimes it’s good to do a little house cleaning and freshen things up a bit.  Even though the clutter might return, it doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do the work to keep it at bay, or to stop it all together.

So there you have it.  A little house cleaning and I’m feeling fresher and more ready to do even more cleaning because I’ve realized what a difference it makes.

What about you?  Do you find that clutter can affect the mood of your house?

Happy Monday everyone!

Bee at Just Fooling Around With Bee is currently hosting Mindful Monday while Colleen at Silver Threading is away.


Mindful Monday – Saying Goodbye to Morning Coffee

I’ve been having health issues that have caused me to make some changes in my life.  It’s funny how you don’t realize something until it sort of hits you in the face…

My doctor asked me if I drank a lot of caffeine and my immediate response was to say no, but that’s because my morning coffee is such an embedded part of my day, that I completely forget about it as an actual “thing”.  I didn’t think I was drinking a ton of it, though – I usually only had two to three cups in the morning and then switched to water by about mid-day.  It was only recently that I started making an almost daily run at lunch to the gas station for a diet coke, which probably didn’t help anything.  I don’t know, I still don’t think it was a lot.

My body decided it was finished with it, though.  I always say I need to listen to my body and what it’s telling me, but I don’t think I ever expected it to upset me so much.

I miss my morning coffee.  I think it became such an emotional experience for me – having a cup while I sat down at my computer to write; sharing a cup with my sissy as we talked about life and anything really; just the smell of coffee as it was brewing while I made breakfast for the family.  It was a little bright spot of happiness every morning and I pretty much resent not being able to do it now.

Perhaps time will help – it’s only been a few days, after all.

Why is it we create such emotional experiences surrounding food and drink?  I don’t even think we realize we are doing it until we are either forced to stop or decide to stop for one reason or another and then wonder why it’s so hard.

Even now, I’m thinking that maybe I can get to a point where I could have just one cup a day… that wouldn’t be so bad, would it?

I imagine this is what anyone says who is addicted to something in their life.  Maybe it’s a good thing that I’m letting it go, not just for my health, but because I am so obviously addicted to it.

Happy Monday everyone!

Bee at A Spirit of Healing is currently hosting Mindful Monday while Colleen at Silver Threading is away.


Mindful Monday – Letting Things Go

Part of my journey to healthy living has been learning when to let things go.  I made a very specific plan a few weeks ago on the blog and then I ended up getting sick.  I’m back into a routine again, but I realized today that I had to let one of those things go.

It’s not easy though.

In many way, I feel like a failure.  I sat at work and thought about it for a good twenty minutes trying to figure out the new workout schedule and I finally realized that four days was good enough.  I didn’t have to do five days just because I made a plan and wrote it down.

I’m realizing that I need flexibility in my workouts; not only because I have kids who basically view me as a chauffeur when they’re here (that’s not to say that I don’t love doing things for them), but also because I have a job that requires late nights sometimes.  And there’s really no way to know when all those things will happen.  So, it makes it difficult to have a planned class at a certain time.  I thought going to the one on Saturday would work, I but I did that once and I didn’t like the time or the fact that it was at a gym farther away from my house.

Are all those just excuses?  Absolutely.  But when they continue to be excuses, you start to realize that maybe you need to make a change in order to eliminate the excuse.  It’s not like I’m not exercising, because I am.  The problem is this class.  And the only problem is the set schedule.

The sad part is that I really like the class.  I also really like the instructor.  I feel like I’m failing her because she was so supportive; but honestly, if I’ve learned anything from this exercise journey, it’s that you have to do what works for you.  And sometimes it doesn’t help to bull your way through an issue.  Many times that only makes it worse.

Note to self: That is also fabulous life advice…

So, I’m letting my exercise class go, but I’m still planning to run twice a week and lift weights twice a week.  I figured that will be good enough for now and I’m hoping it will eliminate the stress I’ve caused myself in trying to keep to the set class schedule.

I just had the thought that I obsess way too much about this stuff sometimes.  It should be easier than this, shouldn’t it?



This post is part of Mindful Monday hosted by Colleen at Silver Threading.  (I didn’t see a post today, so I am linking to last week’s.)