Song Lyric Sunday – Jar of Hearts by Christina Perri

This song has nothing to do with Mother’s Day, but it pretty accurately represents how I felt for many years in a very abusive relationship.  When I first heard this song, I ugly cried.  I still cry when I listen to it.  There’s just something about the lyrics that I’m drawn to.  As much as it is about the abuse, there is also that element of growing strong and finding that you no longer believe the lies you were told so many times.

I think that’s one of the hardest parts about abuse.  As much as you tell yourself what they’re saying isn’t true, you hear it often enough and you start to believe it.  I honestly didn’t realize how much of those lies were embedded deep within me, tearing me apart bit by bit.  It’s hard to look back on that time of my life, but I’m so happy I found a way out.

Christina Perri’s voice only adds to the sincerity, grief and ultimate strength in my opinion.

So, if I were you, I’d grab some kleenex and dive in.  I hope you enjoy.

I know I can’t take one more step towards you
‘Cause all that’s waiting is regret
Don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore
You lost the love I loved the most
I learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?
I hear you’re asking all around
If I am anywhere to be found
But I have grown too strong
To ever fall back in your arms
I’ve learned to live, half alive
And now you want me one more time
Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
So don’t come back for me
Who do you think you are?
It took so long just to feel alright
Remember how to put back the light in my eyes
I wish I had missed the first time that we kissed
‘Cause you broke all your promises
And now you’re back
You don’t get to get me back
Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
And tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
Collecting your jar of hearts
Tearing love apart
You’re gonna catch a cold
From the ice inside your soul
Don’t come back for me
Don’t come back at all
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Who do you think you are?
Songwriters: Drew C. Lawrence / Christina Judith Perri / Barrett Noubar Yeretsian
Jar of Hearts lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc, Kobalt Music Publishing Ltd., BMG Rights Management US, LLC

The Song Lyric Sunday theme for this week was “heart”.  Please feel free to click the link, read the rules and post one of your own.

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Sunday Photo Fiction – Wrong


© Eric Wicklund

am i bad?

It’s the mantra that plays over and over again in my head, but it isn’t long before it turns into something else.

i am bad!

The realization happens slowly and roots itself deep in my gut.  Everything validates the truth – I like it, even though I know it’s wrong; he loves me; I would do anything for him so why not this?

I saw him once with Jane.  It makes me sad, but not in a “this is wrong” sort of way.  It’s more a jealous sort of way.  Am I not enough?  What do I need to do to keep him?  It makes me try desperately harder to do the things he asks of me even though I know it’s wrong.

i am bad!

He decides to come clean first because he’s better than me.  I would have kept his secret forever.

i am bad!

Mama asks me if it’s true – “Is he hurting you?”  She asks as though it’s an easy question to answer.

Does it hurt?

No.

i am bad!

So I keep silent, but everyone knows the truth and i am bad! changes to i’m so ashamed.


The rules for Sunday Photo Fiction are to create a story/poem or something using around 200 words with the photo as a guide, although it doesn’t have to be center stage.  This dark tale comes in at 196 words.

Click the blue froggy link to read other amazing stories!

Happy Sunday!

Friday Fictioneers – The Closed Door

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PHOTO PROMPT © Liz Young

When Mama shuts the door, I slump down in the corner of the tiny space and pull my knees to my chest.  It ain’t cold.  I just don’t like the dark, and the slit under the door barely helps.  I sure can hear, though.

Daddy’s yellin’ and Mama’s whimperin’.   It happens ‘bout every other day.

Then Mama starts screamin’ and shivers run up and down my body.  She screams for a while, then it goes real silent.  I’m afraid to get up, so I hold real still for what seems like hours.

When the door finally opens, it ain’t Mama comin’ to fetch me.


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction prompt where we are given a photo and asked to write a 100 word story – beginning, middle and end.  This one came in at 104 words.

Click on the blue froggy to read other amazing 100-word stories!

Friday Fictioneers – The Escape

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PHOTO PROMPT © J Hardy Carroll

Maria’s eyes darted anxiously from the tracks to the door leading outside.  Would the train come in time?

“Momma, where’re we goin?”  Matthew was a bundle of energy and had asked the same question at least six times.

“To Grandma’s, sweetie”

“Where’s Papa?”

She glanced at her son as he kicked his legs in the seat next to her.  “I don’t know, baby.”

“But, I want Papa!”  Tears sprang greedily to his eyes as he glared at her.

“I know, love.”  Tears welled in her own eyes.

I don’t know if I can do this on my own.


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction prompt where we are given a photo and asked to write a 100 word story – beginning, middle and end.  This one came in at 98 words.

Click on the blue froggy to read other amazing 100-word stories!

Friday Fictioneers – Wrapped in Barbed Wire

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PHOTO PROMPT © Madison Woods

I glance out the window, slowly stretching out the aches and grimacing around a yawn. The sun winks back at me with its familiar glow and I lurch back in surprise. I was expecting bleak clouds hovering in an expectant sky. Why is it that I long for the day to mimic the state of my heart?

Leaden.

Heavy.

Wrapped in barbed wire, bleeding and withering in the face of love turned to scorn.

I slowly stand back in the window and let the sun wash over me. Perhaps one day it will give me the courage I need to leave.


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction prompt where we are given a photo and asked to write a 100 word story – beginning, middle and end. This one came in at 101 words.

Click on the blue froggy to read other amazing 100-word stories!

Friday Fictioneers – Just to See Her Smile

copyight-sean-fallon
PHOTO PROMPT © 
Sean Fallon

I can’t hold still and the jar almost drops.  It’s heavy.  Almost bigger than I am.  Don’t know how I made it into the kitchen.

“Mama, I made a game.  Wanna play?”

She doesn’t look up.  She’s sad again, but this will make her happy.  I just know it!

“Look, Mama.”  I take two more steps and try and try to lift it, but disaster strikes.

There’s glass everywhere.  And batteries.  Instead of making Mama smile, she’s screaming.  At me.  Like Daddy does to her.

I bow my head.  Maybe I deserve it.

I just wanted to see her smile.


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction prompt where we are given a photo and asked to write a 100 word story – beginning, middle and end. This one came in at 100 words.

Click on the blue froggy to read other amazing 100-word stories!

Love and SoCS Are In Da Blog – Relative with a touch of empathy and love

Everything is relative…

I’m at a loss as to why all these prompts bring up such heavy subjects for me. I try to keep things light, in some ways, here on the blog, but I know that doesn’t always happen. It probably has a lot to do with my own personality and how I’ve come to realize that talking about hard things isn’t a bad thing; in fact, it’s a good thing. It’s hard to do and it’s hard to read and to listen to sometimes, but I think mistakes were made in the past by shrouding things in secrecy. It set us so apart from each other when we could have been helping and holding each other; we could have realized that everyone has something, whether they admit it or not, and we can find comfort in each other and knowing we aren’t a sole wanderer in pain.

When I was a child, I didn’t understand this. Sitting in a group therapy session and listening to others tell their stories of abuse, I somehow came away feeling guilty. My story isn’t that bad. Was I really abused? I felt like I didn’t belong in that group and somehow turned inward rather than opening up more.

I’ve come to realize that someone else’s pain isn’t your pain and we all deal with our own in ways that others can’t or aren’t able to yet. It’s all relative.

It took me a long time to finally open up, but when I did, I found that there were so many children who were abused, sometimes in small ways; sometimes in horrific ways that I can’t even imagine surviving. I also found that the more I spoke, the more I had others thank me for opening up; that somehow my story helped them with something they were dealing with.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, just because someone has been through something different than what you experienced, it doesn’t make what you went through somehow less; it doesn’t mean anything at all really except that we can help each other and hold each other and open up, if we can, in order to perhaps find comfort… that sounds rather trite, finding comfort in pain, but I can tell you that the worst times in my life were times where I felt alone. I felt like I was the only one who was going through a dark, cold forest filled with cobwebs and ice and there was no one there to help me or to understand.

It brings to mind one of my favorite movies – What Dreams May Come. I don’t mean to give away the ending for those of you who haven’t seen it, but it ties in so perfectly to what I’m trying to say here. So, if you haven’t seen it and want to, which I highly recommend, then don’t read the next paragraph.

What I loved most about the movie was that after doing everything he could to help his wife, Chris decided the only place he wanted to be was with her, by her side, so he decided to join her in hell. Once that decision was made, it somehow woke Annie up, because no one who is living in hell or has experienced hell wants their loved ones there, in fact, we do everything in our power to shield them from it while somehow wishing someone would sit by our side and just be with us for a time. She finally came out of it and realized that she loved him enough to break free.

It takes severe empathy; that willingness to drop all pretense and really sit with someone else in extreme pain. And there are those of us out there who are willing to do that and I can tell you, those are the people I love most. The ones who don’t try to fix it; the ones who just sit with me for a time and hold my hand and tell me they love me. It’s usually the only thing that can bring me out of the darkness.

I think I went way off into left field with this one, but I hope I was able to tie it back to relative with just a touch of empathy and love.


This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G Hill and Love Is In Da Blog hosted by Bee. Feel free to click on the links and join the love!

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