Isn’t it crazy how we torment our poor bodies?  I don’t know about you, but it seems the older I become, the more I can feel the torment.  It’s as if my body is saying, “Please stop feeding me so much, and please exercise!”  I’ve had points in my life where I said I would never exercise and I would eat what I wanted because life is too short, I love food, etc.  However, I’m starting to realize that maybe I won’t live so long if I continue in that particular manner.

I know I’ve been talking some this year about exercise and finding my new healthy me, but it hasn’t really happened.  I started on my lovely elliptical in January, overdid it and ended up sick for the next month.  I’m honestly scared to get back on it because I am one of those people who goes all in when I make my mind up to do something.  I’m starting to realize that after 40, you just don’t recover from things as quickly.

It’s hard to be patient.  I sit here and think about how I want to be lighter, healthier and more fit, and it seems so far away.  If only it was an easy thing to just enjoy the process along the way.

I did start a diet this last week.  I really dislike publicizing that, but maybe it’s a good thing to just let it all out.  I was planning to start exercising at the same time, but I actually listened to my body this time and realized that it probably couldn’t handle that much stress.  I know it’s been less than a week since I started, but honestly, I actually feel lighter today.  The scale probably wouldn’t agree with me, but I can feel my body changing.  Even if it’s only the lack of an awful lot of really crappy food in my body, it just feels better.

The other thing I did differently this time is that I didn’t step on the scale last week.  I know I should probably have a starting point so I know where to end up, but honestly, that’s pressure too.  I know myself, and that scale is just too harsh of a reality for me when I’m trying to stay positive and motivated.  The one thing that’s nice is that your clothes are perfectly happy to tell you where you’re at.  They don’t give you a number, but they do start to loosen up a little at a time.

So, there you have it.  My goals still seem so far away, but honestly, I’m starting to settle into this whole thing, and no matter where I end up on the scale, at least I feel healthier today and now.

Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is “so far.” Use it any way you’d like. Enjoy!