SoCS – I’m fine, really…

Fine is one of those words that doesn’t really inspire writing.  If you were inspired by it, I salute you because I’ve been sitting here for fifteen minutes with nothing buy fuzz in my head.  I’m not even sure I would use it in writing, to be honest.  Describing someone as “fine” is just not descriptive at all.  Fine is something I usually say when I’m upset and not ready to talk yet.  “Are you okay?”  “I’m fine!”

The other descriptive way it’s been used in the past is to describe someone as beautiful or handsome.  “He’s so fine.”  I think it was before my time, or maybe it just my time after all and I just don’t want to admit it.

I even thought about adding a prefix to it and talking about defining myself, but honestly, I’m not in the best frame of mind for that sort of post.  I feel like I’m floundering and nothing feels quite right.  I know I’m in a funk and when it’s like this, my thoughts work overtime trying to come up with “solutions” to the “problem”, when really, there is no solution.  Depression is like that, isn’t it?  The minute you try to define it, you’ve pretty much lost yourself to a vacuum of negativity and churning thoughts that go nowhere.

See, I didn’t really want this post to be like this, but it seems my stream of consciousness is reflective of my dark mood.  The weather isn’t helping.  It seems to me that our seasons have sort of changed.  March used to be the start of spring, but we just barely started having winter, so I’m thinking we might just go straight to summer in June like we did last year.  I’m actually happy it finally started snowing.  It’s weird to have the expectation of something and then to watch day after day without that thing happening.

That sounds an awful lot like what’s going on inside me right now; the expectation of something that isn’t quite happening.  Nothing’s really great, but nothing is really bad either.  I suppose you could say that I’m just fine…

Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is “fine.” Use it any way you’d like, bonus points if you use it as the last word of your post. Have fun!


25 thoughts on “SoCS – I’m fine, really…

  1. I felt the same way when I saw the prompt – it’s the full moon, the long winter, the blahs, or whatever. You did a great job streaming down some thoughts – way to push through writer’s block!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You did great with your post, and yes you are just fine. You are a wonderful person and deserve to find all the joy you can in telling yourself you are just fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: No second chances – Never Would I Admit

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