SoCS – An unconventional attitude (or maybe not)?

You’ll be happy to note that I actually showed up to write some stream of consciousness today.  I know I’m pretty happy about it.  It’s been far too long and I realized yesterday, that there was a part of me that was scared about it.  Do I still have it?  Can I still write?

I answered that question for myself in a pretty satisfying way yesterday, and even though the story wasn’t my best work, at least I wrote something.

This time of year isn’t my favorite, and I’ve pretty well settled in to being the bah-humbug.  I think it’s always a little scary to embrace the opposite of what people consider normal.  To be honest, I’ve been working so much I haven’t even really thought about the holiday all that much.  The only time it really upsets me is when I’m grocery shopping or at lunch and the damn songs are playing.

I think there will be some songs that I will always love (I do love music after all), but the sheer over-abundance of the same songs played over and over (in varying ways) can get a little mind-numbing.  Or, maybe it just makes me feel like it’s all being forced on me when all I want is a little peace from it.

We haven’t received much snow here, but supposedly that’s going to change in the next three days.  I don’t know for sure, though.  All I really know is that I saw the little snowflake on my weather app for the next three days, but knowing the weather app the way I do, that could change from minute to minute.  It could also mean that it’s just “sort of” snow rather than the thick sticks-to-the-ground snow that makes everything truly beautiful outside.  I’m just happy I don’t have to do too much driving in it.

Why do we associate Yule with snow?  Isn’t it a little odd that we consider it magical when the rest of the time we just want the snow to stop?  Maybe we love it because we all have so much time off and yeah, let it snow!  But the rest of the year, we have places to be and it’s just a nuisance.

You know, this isn’t as easy as I thought it would be.  I think the old writing tool is rusty.  But, better to get back into it now rather than continuing to stall in hopes that I will find some magical moment when it just feels right.  I think writing is just like anything else.  Practice makes for easier writing sessions (sometimes).

Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through this rather painful write.

Happy Saturday!


Stream of Consciousness Saturday  is hosted by Linda G Hill. Today’s prompt is “yule/you’ll/Yul.” Start your post with one of them. Have fun!

  

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#LyricalFictonFriday – Whisper My Name

Her parting words resonated through Blake’s head as he boarded his flight.  He was expecting hurt and pain and a lot of pleading, but that didn’t happen.  When he told her he was leaving, she’d sat in perfect silence, staring at her hands.  He bumbled through the words he’d rehearsed over and over again, repeating things he’d already said until he fell silent as well.

He’d realized then that he should have left in the middle of the night like all the rest.  He’d almost done it, but he’d changed his mind at the last minute.  He was hoping that everything they’d shared would be enough.

They’d sat in silence for what seemed like hours, until she finally lifted her head.  With one tear slowing trailing its way down her cheek, she whispered, “You won’t live long enough to regret this.”

Even though he should have expected it, he was still shocked.  “You will always have a place in my heart, Elsa, and I wish nothing but the best for you.  I’m truly sorry it had to end this way.”

The only response he’d received was a slight nod, but her eyes spoke volumes.  They glittered with unshed tears and a hardness that he’d seen plenty of times before, but never directed at him.

He felt some relief once he was settled on the plane.  He watched with anticipation as it lifted off the runway.  He should have felt free, but a chill slowly crept up his spine and he shivered.  He bent down and pulled a small blanket out of his pack.  He pulled it up over his shoulders and leaned his chair back.  He needed to try and get some sleep before landing.

**

It was cold and dark.  He tried to raise his hand, but the blanket was too heavy. He turned his head, trying to find a light, but there was only darkness.

Blake…

He lurched from the sound and tried to move again, but it was no use.

Blake…

It was closer now.  Sweat dripped down his face, but he was shivering from cold and fear.

Blake!

The scream shattered the air and he felt something sharp and hard slam into his chest.  He tried to scream, but realized he couldn’t breathe.  His whole body lurched again, trying to breathe, to move, to live; but it was no use.  He was falling.

**

“Sir, are you okay?”

Someone was shaking him and he somehow managed to drag himself from the pit.  He slowly opened his eyes and took a deep breath.  Two seconds later, he was yelling from the pain.

“Sir, what happened?  Are you hurt?”

He yanked his shirt up to see where the pain was coming from.  His chest was black and blue.  “What the hell?”

“We’re going to be landing soon.  Are you alright?”

He looked up at the flight attendant and shook his head.  His thoughts were racing so fast, he couldn’t form words, and the pain was getting worse.  He closed his eyes to try and escape the terror.  Elsa’s face appeared in front of him, still whispering his name.

The tightness in his chest grew with each whisper until it finally exploded and he succumbed to the darkness.


#LyricalFictionFriday is brought to us by Simply Marquessa. The lyric prompt she chose was: I’m locked and loaded…completely focused…my mind is open…” from the song Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande.

I’m so excited to have a day off.  I’m even more excited that I actually wrote something, and I’m planning to be a whole lot more present on the blog from here on out.  I hope you’re ready! 🙂

Happy Friday everyone!

Song Lyric Sunday – Burning Bright by Shinedown

As you all know, I struggle with depression.  This, of course, means that I’ve spent a lot of my life pretending because sometimes it’s easier to pretend than to admit that things aren’t okay.  On one hand I want to say it’s a bad thing, but I think it’s helped in some ways.  You know that whole saying that you have to fake it until you make it?  When things weren’t at their worst, but I could still feel the cloud surrounding me, I decided to get up and do something, no matter what it was, and just by doing it, I could sometimes make the cloud disappear.

It doesn’t always work and it’s never easy.  Most of the time, I just have to live with the cloud and tell myself over and over again that things are okay, even though it feels like everything is falling apart.

I wasn’t sure what song I was going to pick for today, but then I came across this song.  I started listening to Shinedown because they ended up being the headline band at a concert my daughter and I attended.  Little did I know that I would fall in love with them and their style of music.  This song is no exception.

I hope you enjoy!

Lyrics found at Google Play Music

I feel like there is no need for conversation
Some questions are better left without a reason
And I would rather reveal myself than my situation
Now and then I consider my hesitation

The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I’m burning, burning bright

I wonder if the things I did were just to be different
To spare myself of the constant shame of my existence
And I would surely redeem myself in my desperation
Here and now I’ll express my situation

The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I’m burning bright
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I’m burning

There’s nothing ever wrong, but nothing’s ever right
Such a cruel contradiction
I know I crossed the line, it’s not easy to define
I’m born to indecision
There’s always something new, some path I’m supposed to choose
With no particular rhyme or reason

The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I’m burning bright
The more the light shines through me
I pretend to close my eyes
The more the dark consumes me
I pretend I’m burning

I feel like there is no need for conversation

Written by Brent Smith, Tony Battaglia • Copyright © Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC, Universal Music Publishing Group

The Song Lyric Sunday theme for this week was pretending.  Please feel free to click the link, read the rules and post one of your own.

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Song Lyric Sunday Theme for 12/17/17

I don’t know about you, but this honestly is not my favorite time of year.  I’m not a huge fan of this holiday, for many different reasons, so I find myself trying to just make it through and hoping it will fly by so I can find myself on the other side of it for one more year.

This year has been nice in a lot of ways.  I’ve been working my ass off at the day job, so I haven’t really had time to think about it.  I honestly can’t believe it’s only a week away, but I’m happy it’s flying by without dwelling too much on how I dislike it all.   I even talked my kids into a less-than-traditional celebration, and I think they went for it.  Maybe one year, we can just fly away to a beach somewhere and I can hide from it in the sunniest and laziest way possible.

Anyway, this does bring us to our theme for Song Lyric Sunday this week, which is “pretending”.  

As always, you can go your own way and post a song that has nothing to do with the prompt.  We’re all here sharing our love of music and lyrics, and most of all, having a great time!

I’m teaming up with Simply Marquessa  and this week’s SLS theme was inspired by her weekly LyricalFictionFriday theme: “I think it’s so sweet…how you let your friends encourage you to try and talk to me…but let me stop you there…” from the song NO by Meghan Trainor.

If you would like to suggest a theme, I am open to suggestions.   Please either pop it in the comments or send me an email at helenvahdati@yahoo.com.

Here are the “rules”:

  • Post the lyrics to the song of your choice, whether it fits the theme or not
  • Please try to include the songwriter(s) – it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due and it’s honestly just a simple Google search
  • Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
  • Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
  • Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
  • Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process

Feel free to use the Song Lyric Sunday badge by copying it into your post or add it to your site to show you are participating.

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Song Lyric Sunday – Falling Down by Muse

I wasn’t sure what I was going to post today, but then sometime in the middle of the night, I remembered Muse!  If you’ve followed SLS for a while, you’ll know that Muse has a soft spot in my heart.  I love this band, and this song somehow speaks to me right now.  It’s slow, melodramatic and sad as hell.

I did read on a Muse wiki that Bellamy wrote the song about his hometown.  He must have really disliked that place, eh?

I always thought of it as a break up song (how is it we seem to relate every song we hear to relationships?).  I particularly like the line: “Too late I already found what I was looking for.  You know it wasn’t you.”

Anyway, I do hope you enjoy this one with a nice warm cup of coffee and dressed in something snuggly and warm.  I know I did.

I’m falling down
And 15 thousand people scream
They were all begging for your dream
I’m falling down
Five thousand houses burning down, yeah
No one is gonna save this town
Too late, I already found what I was looking for
You know it wasn’t here
No, it wasn’t here
I was calling your name
But you would never hear me sing
You wouldn’t let me begin
So I’m crawling away
‘Cause you broke my heart in two, yeah
No I will not forget you
Too late, I already found what I was looking for
You know it wasn’t you
No, it wasn’t you, no
Falling away
You don’t ever see me free
No, I could not forget you
Falling down
Five thousand houses burning down, yeah
No one is gonna save this town, yeah
Too late, I already found what I was looking for
You know it wasn’t you
No, it wasn’t you, no
Falling down
Now my world is upside-down, yeah
I’m heading straight for the clouds
Songwriters: Matthew James Bellamy
Falling Down lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

The Song Lyric Sunday theme for this week was falling.  Please feel free to click the link, read the rules and post one of your own.

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