I had every intention of posting something for Just Jot It January every day this month, but the last two days were rough ones. I ended up going into a dark place, and there’s just no writing from that place; at least not for me.
I found myself in a state of mind that I haven’t been in for a while and it scared me. Luckily, it didn’t take root in my mind and last for days and days. If it had happened years ago, I’m not sure where it would have led, which makes me glad for the growth I feel I’ve had in the past years.
Some of that is thanks to the people in my life now. It’s amazing to me how much of a difference it makes when you surround yourself with people who lift you up rather than tear you down.
Anyway, enough of that. I really have good news to report. At least, I’m excited about it. Our house is dangerously close to being all “put together”! There are still way too many pictures to hang on walls that need to be re-painted, but there were also a few straggling “projects” that still needed to be done before I felt like I could really settle in.
I was at work yesterday and realized that I have two capable boys at home who can do things. To be honest, I think this is the first time I’ve put them to work on something that I wasn’t right there helping them with. They didn’t actually get to it yesterday because my teenagers stay up too late on school nights and take naps after school to make up for it.
But today, they were both here, ready and willing to work. It was so nice to come home and just help them finish it up. I don’t know what it was about this last project that finally made it all feel completely like home (probably the fact that we can now fit two cars in the garage, which is exciting because the townhouse we came from only had a one-car garage).
I haven’t felt like the place I lived in was home in maybe forever, but I’m in love with this house and the fact that I live here with my most favorite people. It was also a blessing to be able to have a room my daughter could stay in while she was here for the holidays.
I have so much to be grateful for. I can’t even fathom the dark depths my mind entered yesterday… it’s hard for me to even comprehend it, much less try to explain it to someone who has never been there.
Life is worth living and the demons are at bay. Right now is a good place to be.