SoCS on Sunday- What defines “pretty”

I’m not sure I realized how much  I was struggling until my dear friend, Linda, posted a comment on my Song Lyric Sunday Theme post last night.  I will be forever grateful to Linda and this amazing community I have found for the constant support and outpouring of love.

I’ve always struggled with fitting into the “pretty” lot.  It wasn’t until later in my life that I ditched the whole idea and decided to go in a different direction.  It’s still an ideal that haunts me, though.  I’m not sure why I think of “pretty” as an ideal in which to fit, rather than defining it in my own way, which is, I think much more accurate.

Pretty is different things to different people, so I don’t understand why there is such a “standard” idea of it posted everywhere for everyone to see.  It bothers me on so many levels.  I think the only way to combat it, though, is to rise up against it and create our own idea of “pretty”.

When my sister was suffering from breast cancer, she had to face the awful decision of how many breasts to remove in order to stop the cancer’s progress.  I remember her crying on the phone and telling me she just wanted to feel like a woman.  She decided to only remove one of them, in order to keep feeling in the other.  I just remember how awful it was to realize that we define ourselves as women in such strange ways…

Our hair… our boobs… our uterus, perhaps?…

I’ve been faced with the realization that my womanly parts are only causing me pain.  I’m not sad to know they are soon to be gone, but it’s odd to realize that the thing that helped me create children will soon be gone.  Does that make me less pretty?

Was I less pretty when I decided to shave my head to support my sister in her fight against breast cancer?

Are men less pretty when they have a beer belly rather than a six pack?

NO!!  I resent the idea of being defined by our looks or our abilities… am I less of a woman because I don’t have certain parts that normally define women?

Lets stop judging ourselves and others and just realize that we are all BEINGS living out our lives.. trying to find acceptance and love.  I love you all for your acceptance and your love.  I don’t believe I would be writing today if it wasn’t for your love and support, so thank you!

I know the last few months have been scarce, but I plan to return in full force after the new year.

I love you all and wish you all a happy holiday season of love, beauty and peace!


This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill.  I’m a day late, but yesterday’s prompt was “pretty.”

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8 thoughts on “SoCS on Sunday- What defines “pretty”

  1. I have never had to face breast cancer, but I have read about what that decision must be like and it is a shame so many women feel so torn between feeling pretty and saving their lives. No judgment here. I can imagine it is one of the hardest decisions. We are so attached to a certain body part that is known as predominantly female and sometimes it comes down to life and death. The one moves easily to the other when it comes to having children. I’ve felt less female at the thought that I may never be able to have children of my own. It isn’t something any of us get over on any sort of time clock or any other sort of clock for that matter.
    I fight with the idea of what pretty means in my own mind too. Try and show me one woman that does not.
    I hope cancer hasn’t left too high priced of a mark on you and your family Helen. It does so for so many families I realize.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for your supportive comment. My sister is in remission; however it took a toll and she is still struggling to get back to normal. I wish we could rid ourselves of the pretty standard… also the idea that it takes certain things to make you a woman. Everyone is so different. ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree, Helen. What matters is who we are as a whole, not which parts we have, nor whether or not they’re attractive by popular standards. That’s one of the things I love about this community. We appreciate one another because of what our hearts hold. And we can love each other equally without judgement on what we look like. 🙂
    So glad you decided to write today! Thank you, my friend. I enjoyed your post. 🙂 ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I sure do agree with you. We all have our beauty, and the beauty within is so wonderful for each one of us. You are a beautiful woman inside and out. You have such a tender heart and I love you dearly!!

    Liked by 1 person

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