I’ve struggled with depression my entire life and I started to wonder today how much of the everyday, human emotions I actually chalk up to “depression”. Am I really depressed or is this normal? I seem to ask myself that question all the time and most times, I come to the conclusion that it’s depression.
But is that really fair to myself? I don’t think it is. I think everyone has emotion, and sadness can be very normal, especially when you receive news you weren’t prepared for and it affects not just that moment you hear it, but it bleeds into the next day and the next. Is that depression? Or is that grief or something else you haven’t identified yet?
I think the older I get, the more I’m realizing that I’m more normal than I ever gave myself credit for. If anything, I maybe feel things a bit more (well, more than a bit) deeply than some people.
Which brings me to my news…
My sister found out yesterday that her companion and protector has cancer and will most likely need to say goodbye to this world sometime next week. It’s amazing to me that a pet can bury themselves so deeply in our lives that we need to go through a grief process when they leave, just like you would with another human. When she told me, I cried.
There’s just something about Sammy…
She is the sweetest dog, and I’ve grown to love her so much. I especially love watching her take care of my sister. Ever since my sister was diagnosed with a blood clot in her brain, she has had to re-learn how to, I don’t know… just be. She had to give up many things that she loved because she can no longer do them, and she still struggles with loud noises and doing too much to the point where she gets so tired she can barely move.
Sammy is always there. I was with my sister a few weeks ago and she ended up overdoing it… Sammy was right by her side and every time she had to move or go anywhere, Sammy followed. They have a special bond and I know my sister will miss her. I’m going to miss her!
I love Sammy so much that I created a story series based on her. If you’re interested, I’ll drop the links below. My sister said I captured Sammy’s personality perfectly in the stories and maybe she’s right; but I honestly loved writing about her and them. She’s been my muse and the epitome of a companion and protector for my sister. The world just won’t be the same without her.
The most recent pictures of Sammy (and of course the boys being silly…)
This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G. Hill. Your Friday prompt for Stream of Consciousness Saturday is: “Press.” Find a word that starts with press-, ends with -press, or use “press” as a word all by itself. Have fun! Please feel free to click the link and join in the fun.