Friday Fictioneers – Mama’s Dignity

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PHOTO PROMPT – © Ted Strutz

Mama always said you should never waste an opportunity to show your dignity. “Never leave the house in your pajamas”, she said. “People might think you come from trash, and we ain’t trash!”

Mama’s dignity is mine now, in the house and on the property. Just yesterday, we had to replace that old toilet in the bathroom and those idiots dumped it out by the garage. I took one look and knew what had to be done.

With Mama’s voice ringing in my head, I prettied it up some so the neighbors wouldn’t think we was dirt.


Friday Fictioneers is a weekly flash fiction prompt where we are given a photo and asked to write a 100 word story – beginning, middle and end. This one came in at 97 words.  I hope you enjoy!

Click on the blue froggy to read other amazing 100-word stories!

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How do you trust your intuition when fear of failure is so much louder?

I feel like I’ve always had a really strong intuition; the problem is, life has taught me to ignore it.  I suppose that sounds a bit like I’m not taking responsibility for my own actions, and maybe I’m not.

However, this could be something I can turn around and eventually unlearn all the things that bad experiences have taught me.

That’s probably why I’m writing this post – so I can work it out in my head and maybe come up with a plan.  But that sounds boring (even to me) to read, so I think I’ll just forego the planning stage and talk about the “wondering” stage.

I was at work today and received an IM from my boss.  She said she thought I needed to trust my intuition more; which I completely agree with.  I don’t know how many times I questioned something at work but didn’t say anything and later found out I was correct.  I even tell my boss (after the fact) when I noticed things that needed to be fixed or changed, but I can’t really offer a reason why I didn’t say anything.  At this point, I can only imagine she must think I am the most timid person in the world; which I’m not.

I think the biggest part of it is fear of failure.  Just yesterday, I made an assumption about something that my boss later told me I was completely wrong about.  So, where was my intuition then?  I’d like to say I was sick and not thinking straight, but I really have no excuse for that particular mistake.

Outside of work I have the same things happen, but it’s more in how I feel about things.  I had to take my son somewhere and found out his Dad would be there.  I had no reason to not want to go, but I really didn’t want to do it.  I thought my dread came from the fact that it was a baseball clinic in a gym on a Friday night.  Who wants to sit through that?  Well, maybe some people do, but I was bored just thinking about it.  But my feeling wasn’t about being bored.  It was a different type of feeling.

As you might expect, the night didn’t go very well and I ended up in tears.

Was my intuition telling me to be wary, to be aware and protective?  Perhaps, but why the hell is it always so confusing?  I think I’d hear it much better if it was more clear in its warnings and not just a weird lump of dread sitting in my belly for indiscernible reasons.

Or, was I just setting myself up for the situation that occurred?  You know the whole “what you think you create”?

Where’s the line and how do you know the difference?

I suppose the only thing we can do is exactly what I’ve mentioned – be aware; be present; listen and assess.  I’m assuming that old intuition can’t always be right, can it?

Teaser Tuesday – The Book On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

 

I admit that I don’t normally read “self-help” type books, but there is a certain sub-set of them that I find fascinating.  I will also admit that some of this particular book was entirely beyond me.  There are some things that are so large it’s hard to even fathom.  I believe that’s why I love these types of books so much; I love challenging my beliefs and at the same time, trying to find out who I am, if that’s even possible.

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I read The Book On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are by Alan Watts last fall and honestly couldn’t get enough.  I was sad when I reached the last page.  I will definitely be reading this one again because I know it will reveal new and fascinating things to me a second, third and fourth time.

This was my “review” on Goodreads that I actually forgot I wrote:

“I might have to read that one a few times to get the full impact. Truly mind blowing and life altering.”

I downloaded it on iBooks and there are so many amazing quotes that I can’t even imagine going through it and picking one at random.  I would probably end up re-reading the whole thing again, which isn’t such a bad idea… But, I went on Goodreads instead and found one to put here as my teaser.  I hope you enjoy!

“Peace can be made only by those who are peaceful, and love can be shown only by those who love. No work of love will flourish out of guilt, fear, or hollowness of heart, just as no valid plans for the future can be made by those who have no capacity for living now.”
Alan W. Watts


Teaser Tuesday is hosted by Jenn at Books and a Beat.

Anyone can play along! Just do the following:

• Grab your current read
• Open to a random page
• Share two (2) “teaser” sentences from somewhere on that page
• BE CAREFUL NOT TO INCLUDE SPOILERS! (make sure that what you share doesn’t give too much away! You don’t want to ruin the book for others!)
• Share the title & author, too, so that other TT participants can add the book to their TBR Lists if they like your teasers!

Teaser

Mindful Monday – Mindful through illness

Last week was my first week of feeling positive about my new plan, but life always has something it throws at you doesn’t it?  I started getting sick on Tuesday but I went to the gym anyway – I basically said my stomach hurts, not my legs.  On Wednesday, it was a bit worse so I took the day off (I can be flexible).  Thursday I followed the plan and was feeling better.  I even went for my longest run in over a year and a half on Saturday.

Saturday night is a different story all together.  What is it about being sick that makes mindfulness sort of fly out the window?  I’m not sure that’s necessarily fair, but I am the first to admit that I don’t think very clearly when I’m sick.  The only thing I can hope for is to either ignore the terrible thoughts that go through my head when I’m sick or try and remember that what I’m thinking doesn’t define me.  The illness doesn’t define me.

It only feels like it defined the past two days of my life.

Being mindful when I’m sick is about letting myself be without attaching to all the thoughts that bring me down.

I should be helping around the house.
What about my kids?
I need to make breakfast…

I don’t know why it’s hard for me to let go, but sometimes (who am I kidding, so many times) it is.  I felt guilty for staying in bed all day yesterday and letting my family fend for themselves.  However, in the past, I would have let it take me down into an even darker depression and this time it didn’t.  I focused more on the fact that everyone was fine.  Everyone ate three meals yesterday and my fiance was at the heart of it.  He did all of it on probably less sleep than I had because in between being sick, I slept, but I know he didn’t.

I believe when we find ourselves in the depths of depression, we don’t see things clearly.  We definitely don’t see help when it is offered, at least I haven’t in the past.  I’m grateful I was able to see it yesterday and accept it.

I’m feeling better today and am looking forward to getting back to life.  As much as I felt like I needed a rest, I would much rather rest on my terms, and definitely without a stomach ache and everything that goes with it!


This post is part of Mindful Monday hosted by Colleen at Silver Threading.

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Song Lyric Sunday – The Great Divide by Breaking Benjamin

Breaking Benjamin is one of those bands that I have loved for years, but I haven’t listened to them for a while.  Adelle and I used to listen to their album, Phobia, when I took her to school.  We both loved it so much!

Last week, I was looking for something to listen to and thought of Breaking Benjamin. When I pulled them up on Apple Music, I noticed they released a new album last year – Dark Before Dawn.  I’ve honestly listened to nothing else since.  I can’t get enough of the album.  It made it hard to choose which song I was going to feature for Song Lyric Sunday because I love every one of them; but this song just speaks to me.

I realized today that the entire album is really about death.  Not necessarily happy stuff, but the way they put songs together, their lyrics and harmonies always give me chills.  I know they are more grunge/rock and roll than what I normally post, but I think you should give them a try.  You never know… you might just get hooked on them too!

The Great Divide by Breaking Benjamin
Written by Benjamin Burnley (Founder and frontman for the band)
Lyrics found at AZ Lyrics

Carry me all through the night
I am the last light fading
Leave all the lost souls behind
Show me the silence breaking
And when you’re lost and out of time
I will be right here waiting
And when your dreams return to life
I’ll be forever fading
And we’ll fall behind

So I’ll wait for you
As I keep your faith alive
And I’ll pray for you
As we cross the great divide

Bury the wounds deep inside
Rupture the fault line breaking
Dream of the world left behind
Show us we’re worth forsaking
And when the cold begins to rise
Darkness is overtaking
And when the fear is satisfied
I’ll be forever changing
As we all arise

So I’ll wait for you
As I keep your faith alive
And I’ll pray for you
As we cross the great divide
And I’ll break for you
As I open up the sky
And I’ll stay for you
As we cross the great divide

Follow the sunlight down
Cry clear and loud
Heaven won’t help us now
But it’s better this way
Warm light wash me away

So I’ll wait for you
As I keep your faith alive
And I’ll pray for you
As we cross the great divide
And I’ll break for you
As I open up the sky
And I’ll stay for you
As we cross the great divide


Please feel free to join Song Lyric Sunday with one of your own.  We love sharing music!

Here are the “rules”:

  • Post the lyrics to a favorite song or a new song you want to share
  • I’ve started including who wrote the song. (I think it’s a good idea to give credit where credit is due)
  • Make sure you also credit the singer/band and provide a link to where you found the lyrics
  • Link to the YouTube video, or pull it into your post so others can listen to the song
  • Ping back to this post or my own Song Lyric Sunday post
  • Read at least one other person’s blog so we can all share new and fantastic music and create amazing new blogging friends in the process

Check out the new badge for Song Lyric Sunday!  Feel free to start using it in your posts or add it to your site to show you are participating.

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