How do you trust your intuition when fear of failure is so much louder?

I feel like I’ve always had a really strong intuition; the problem is, life has taught me to ignore it.  I suppose that sounds a bit like I’m not taking responsibility for my own actions, and maybe I’m not.

However, this could be something I can turn around and eventually unlearn all the things that bad experiences have taught me.

That’s probably why I’m writing this post – so I can work it out in my head and maybe come up with a plan.  But that sounds boring (even to me) to read, so I think I’ll just forego the planning stage and talk about the “wondering” stage.

I was at work today and received an IM from my boss.  She said she thought I needed to trust my intuition more; which I completely agree with.  I don’t know how many times I questioned something at work but didn’t say anything and later found out I was correct.  I even tell my boss (after the fact) when I noticed things that needed to be fixed or changed, but I can’t really offer a reason why I didn’t say anything.  At this point, I can only imagine she must think I am the most timid person in the world; which I’m not.

I think the biggest part of it is fear of failure.  Just yesterday, I made an assumption about something that my boss later told me I was completely wrong about.  So, where was my intuition then?  I’d like to say I was sick and not thinking straight, but I really have no excuse for that particular mistake.

Outside of work I have the same things happen, but it’s more in how I feel about things.  I had to take my son somewhere and found out his Dad would be there.  I had no reason to not want to go, but I really didn’t want to do it.  I thought my dread came from the fact that it was a baseball clinic in a gym on a Friday night.  Who wants to sit through that?  Well, maybe some people do, but I was bored just thinking about it.  But my feeling wasn’t about being bored.  It was a different type of feeling.

As you might expect, the night didn’t go very well and I ended up in tears.

Was my intuition telling me to be wary, to be aware and protective?  Perhaps, but why the hell is it always so confusing?  I think I’d hear it much better if it was more clear in its warnings and not just a weird lump of dread sitting in my belly for indiscernible reasons.

Or, was I just setting myself up for the situation that occurred?  You know the whole “what you think you create”?

Where’s the line and how do you know the difference?

I suppose the only thing we can do is exactly what I’ve mentioned – be aware; be present; listen and assess.  I’m assuming that old intuition can’t always be right, can it?

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13 thoughts on “How do you trust your intuition when fear of failure is so much louder?

  1. Arghhh-Fear of Failure. I’m afflicted with that, too! And in the end, things can go much worse than they needed to, because of that, I think. I sometimes wonder if it’s just over-thinking things, setting ourselves up to not trust our gut…?

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hmm well intuition seems to always work in my family. Especially my mom, she seems to get that certain feeling. Although I don’t take her word when she’s so nervous about her favorite baseball team and thinking they’ll lose. Over half of the time they surprise her and come back for the win.

    Liked by 1 person

      • 🙂 My mom is normal right more of the time because she seems to have an intuitive knowledge of whether the coach and team will do anything with the pitching staff. Those poor pitchers always seem to be the reason why they loose. lol

        Liked by 1 person

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