What is it that makes friendships last?
I’ve asked myself this question so many times in my life because I seem to have a hard time keeping female friends. I have and will always have my sister. She’s my best friend and confidante and I don’t honestly know where I’d be right now if it wasn’t for her presence in my life. She is always there and we truly have a special relationship, in my opinion; but I think I’ve always chalked it up to our being sisters for some reason, even though I know that not many people can say one of their siblings is their best friend. But maybe I’m wrong; maybe we’re just friends and we would be with or without the blood relation. And that’s just fine with me because my sister, my friend is an amazing woman and I’m lucky to have her in my life.
I’ve had many female friends along the way, but they never seem to last. My childhood friends sort of faded away during junior high and high school. I don’t blame them really. That was a dark time for me and my family, or at least I see it that way now, and I started shutting people out; people who maybe could have been a part of my life long term. But as it happened, by the time I graduated, I was caught up in a relationship and family struggles and didn’t have much left for friendships and they ended up floating away.
I started making friends at work, which I think might have worked, but one of the first girl friends I had that I worked with turned out to be not the best type of friend. The only really positive thing I can say about her is that she introduced me to my x-husband who is the father of my children. It was hard to trust as completely after that, but I did end up getting close to another woman we worked with after the first “friend” quit.
We had a lot in common and I even did things with her and her family outside of work but about a year later, she ended up getting really sick. I visited her in the hospital and tried to stay in touch, but she basically shut me out of her life. I don’t blame her. She went through some really terrible medical struggles and I’m sure just being a mother and wife was about all she could handle, if even that.
The hard part about making friends with people you work with is that jobs aren’t always long-term and it seems like every time I made a friend at work, they eventually faded away after one or both of us left the job.
Needless to say, I don’t have many girlfriends, but I’m happy for those I’ve known along the way because they’ve come into my life at the times I needed them; they’ve taught me things and made me laugh; they’ve shared with me and given me love and I, in turn, was given opportunities to care for them and love them. Friends are pretty amazing and it’s hard to see them go; but I do believe that people float in and out of our lives based on our own internal process.
So, for everyone who has come into my life for a few short years, thank you. You will always have a special place in my heart for what you gave me when you were a part of my life.
That’s not to say I wouldn’t welcome you back; well, most of you anyway. There’s always room for friends.