Together One

Dynamic symmetry of
Souls connecting
Through eye holes
Fluttering

Hands touching, an
Intoxicating rhythm
Creating energetic circulation
Indelibly linked

Hearts uniting with
Sweet pulsing music
Crying out as
One


Sundays must be my day to completely lose touch with anything blog-related or writing related. Last week was the only day in January I didn’t post anything and I so didn’t want this Sunday to be the same thing. So, I went into my folder and found some words I wrote for my sweetheart a while back. When all else fails, there’s always some poetry to be had, even if it wasn’t something I actually wrote today.

Just a quick jot today for Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G. Hill.

JJJ 2015

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Over-Thinking My Reading Challenge

I’ve had a difficult time with this prompt today and I’m thinking it has to do with what I think of when I examine the words “most” and “least”. It makes me think of some kind of competition where someone has the most of something while someone else has the least of it. Which is a pretty negative take on those words.

So, I tried to switch gears and think of it in terms of reading – when did I read the most amount of books, for instance. I’ve been thinking about reading a lot lately. It’s always been a part of my life but there are times when I read more than others. I enjoy having Goodreads because it allows me to track what I’ve read. Last year was the first year I posted every book I read to Goodreads. I have to say, I didn’t read half as much as I wanted to.

The downside of tracking books is that some books are longer than others. About five years ago I started a series and it took me fourteen months to read nine books, but all nine books were close to a thousand pages. Most of the books I read last year were, at most, 500 pages and at least 300. I probably could have read way more books in that range than I did of the thousand page books.

(I just have to point out that, without even thinking about it or planning it, I managed to use both the words in the last paragraph! How absolutely amazing is that?)

Not that this is any sort of contest about reading books; I was just thinking about challenging myself to read 50 books this year, but it’s sort of odd to think about the number of books without considering the total number of pages. Maybe I shouldn’t think too much about it. I just love reading and if I can push myself to do that over mindlessly watching TV because I signed up for a challenge on Goodreads, then so much the better.

I noticed on Goodreads yesterday that today is National Readathon Day, so I signed up to participate. I asked my boyfriend if he wanted to join me and he wasn’t very enthusiastic about it. Neither were my boys. The only one who was the least bit interested was my boyfriend’s daughter, but she is currently playing Minecraft and I’m wondering if she is still interested…

It started at noon and goes until four. I was blow drying my hair when Jaxon popped his head in and said, “Aren’t you supposed to be reading?” I pointed out that I had my book with me and that I would get four hours of reading in today, I just didn’t want to be so structured that it had to be in a specific time-frame. Am I the only person who reads while blow drying my hair? I don’t like wasted time, and I especially don’t like wasting time staring at myself in the mirror while my hair dries. I can usually get in a few pages while I’m shaking the dryer on my head.

This post is part of Stream of Consciousness Saturday and Just Jot It January both of which are hosted by Linda G Hill.

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JJJ 2015

Embracing Technology

I grew up in the eighties when technology was just starting to boom. I remember in fourth grade, my teacher told us about this cool new thing that could hold music and you could literally drive over it and it wouldn’t break! She was talking about a CD (I think) but those things aren’t anything like that. They are very breakable and very scratchable; but I think the thing to take from that is that we were all awed by the idea and what was coming, not just in the future, but right that moment!

I’ve been a reluctant technology lover, especially in my personal life. In work, I was never really given a choice. I had to figure out computer systems and when my computer did weird shit, it was easier to try and figure it out then it was to wait for the IT guy. I also watched them whenever they fixed my computer and asked questions and learned. I’ve never been afraid to click buttons, because there was always undo, or I don’t know, it just didn’t break. I always find it odd when people are afraid to click on something for fear of it breaking. I was just never like that.

What I have done is resist new technology at home. I swore I would never get a DVD player because we had a huge library of VHS tapes and I didn’t want to have to start all over again. Do they even make VCR’s anymore? I’m thinking the DVD player will soon be extinct the way things are going… I also swore I would never own a cell phone. If people wanted to talk to me, they could leave a message on my home phone and I would call them when I was home and available. Yeah, I have a cell phone, of course I do. Who doesn’t?

The next thing I resisted was texting. I have a cell phone, but just call me! When my daughter turned twelve, texting was the only way she communicated, so if I wanted to talk to her, I had to learn. Now, I actually prefer a quick text because I very much dislike bugging people. Besides, have you noticed that people don’t set up their voicemail? Or is that just a kid thing? None of my kids have voicemail. I didn’t set mine up on my new phone until I had to start looking for a new job. I really don’t like it when people leave me a message. I can see who’s calling and nine times out of ten, I will call back without even listening to the voicemail; at which point, I have a voicemail that I have to listen to because I have OCD issues and those little indicators cannot be on my phone. Anywhere.

Technology… right.

The very last thing I’ve been resisting is books (I could technically find more resistance somewhere, but it feels like the last thing). It’s not that I’m going to give up on paper books. I think I will always have a love affair with those. But, I’m thinking it might just be easier and faster and less expensive to start using the iBooks on my phone/iPad. My biggest issue is that I have to go out and find books; either a second hand book store, a library, Barnes and Noble or Amazon. Not that it’s an issue to spend time in those places. It isn’t. It’s more the wait for it to get here once it’s ordered. It’s trying to find which library the book is at, the driving to get it, hoping it hasn’t been checked out by someone else; although, now you can have it transferred to the library of your choice, but there’s still a wait. There is also the issue of it not being there; driving all the way to Barnes and Noble only to find they don’t even carry it anymore!

I just spent about thirty minutes online and I found every book I want to buy and I could have them right this moment rather than waiting for them to come in the mail, or waiting to get off work to take a drive in my car. I don’t know. It is sounding nicely convenient. Besides the fact that blogging adds the whole genre of authors who only publish online so if I want to start reading their stuff, that’s the only option I have. There is also the cool benefit of being able to read whether there is a light or not. Remember book lights? I have a few somewhere, I just don’t read anything but my phone when I’m lying in bed in a dark room. Maybe now I can read books.

What about you? Have you embraced reading technology?

This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G. Hill.

JJJ 2015

Not Your Typical Eye Exam (except that it was…)

I had an appointment at the eye doctor today. I’ve been getting headaches and have noticed my vision is a bit off lately, so I figured I should probably get it checked out, especially since it’s been almost four years since the last time I went. I’m one of those people who can’t see the huge letters on the screen, they just sort of blend in with everything and it looks like a huge blob. It’s pretty scary if you really think about it. Can you imagine how hard it would be if we didn’t have the ability to correct our vision? I don’t even think I want to.

At the end of the exam, my doctor dilated my eyes. I always forget how truly awful it is until it’s actually done. I also always forget that, contrary to what you might think, when your eyes are dilated, you can’t read anything. It takes about fifteen minutes after the drops are put in for the eyes to completely dilate, so while I was waiting, I had a nice lady helping me find some new frames, because my vision did in fact change.

I wasn’t trying to be annoying, but it’s been more like five years since I bought new frames. I really like the ones I have now, so it makes it hard to find new ones that I’m equally passionate about. I probably had about fifteen different pairs sitting on the desk. Things got so muddled, I couldn’t even find my own glasses and the nice associate had to keep pointing them out to me.

I couldn’t decide, but had almost fallen in love with a pair when I decided to take a picture and send it to my daughter. She’s all about what’s in right now and I knew she’d give me an honest opinion. It was pretty hard to text, but with auto correct, I was able to send something off. About two minutes later, she responded. I looked at my phone, but I couldn’t read it at all. I even tried squinting, but that just gave me a headache, so I asked the nice young lady to please read the text to me.

When she read it, she did it in the cutest, shyest voice. She said, “Cute shit Mama.”

I was mortified. “I am so sorry I made you read that,” I said. “I had no idea she was going to swear!”

The young lady actually told me she was thinking of just leaving that part out, but then she decided to read it just as it was. Isn’t that sweet? Her co-worker was laughing and I think I apologized like three more times.

Note to self: Don’t ask strangers to read your texts unless you’re absolutely certain it won’t be completely embarrassing for you or them! But, at least I have some cute glasses on the way (that meet Adelle’s approval) and my eyes are slowly but surely returning to normal, even if I do have a massive headache.

This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G. Hill.

JJJ 2015

The Doorway

Have you ever been the presence looking through someone’s eyes from the inside? I have. I don’t know how it happened, exactly, only that I found a door, decided to walk through it and found myself inside someone else, looking out at the world through their eyes, sharing their thoughts and affecting their interaction with the world in small ways.

It was strange at first, almost like a ride where you just hold on for dear life and wait for it to be over. It eventually came to an end. I’m not sure how long it lasted, but after a time, I was spit out onto the highway in some brush on the outskirts of town. It was a long walk back.

It was almost stupid in a way, and I was never planning to do it again, but I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about it. There was just something about being inside someone else. The closeness. The sharing. How can you ever move on from that? How can you ever live your lonely, solitary life in the same way again after experiencing something like that?

The answer is you don’t; at least I didn’t.

I finally went back to the door and stepped inside.

It happened with more and more frequency and my life started to fall apart. I couldn’t hold down a job. I couldn’t even breathe. I just wanted to be inside, living someone else’s life; watching the world through a bird’s eye view. Their view.

If it sounds strange, imagine how it feels.

But what I wasn’t prepared for was seeing a presence in someone else’s eyes. It took me a minute to realize what I was seeing. We were two beings inside people looking at each other; acknowledging each other. It was like two puppet masters looking at each other while they manipulated their puppets across the stage in a wild frenzy of movement.

The possibility of other doorways had never even entered my mind. Imagine me, believing mine was the only doorway. How strange. How vain. Even more strange was that I didn’t think anything of it. I took it in stride. We’re all walking through doorways, melting into other humans, living life inside them, through them, sometimes for them.

And so it went, hour by hour, day by day. Sometimes I lived my own life. Sometimes I walked through the doorway and spent days, weeks, months even, depending on how long I could hold on. The more I did it, the more control I gained and the longer I could stay. Sometimes it was a burden to leave and I had to actually force myself to fall out.

The last time I went through the doorway as I knew it, I was inside for a year. Everything changed. I no longer wanted my own life. I wanted to share life, only I wasn’t necessarily a welcome visitor. I think the host (as I began to think of her) started to realize there was a presence inside her and she fought me. Sometimes I won. Sometimes she won. And we battled in a graceful dance before she finally won for good and I was booted out.

No longer having any sense of my own reality, I immediately ran back to the door, only it was different, changed. I didn’t care. All I knew was I wanted to get back inside. It was the only way I felt whole. The door was bright red and it had shrunk. I had to squeeze through the door and when I did, I fell.

I fell for a long time. At first I was scared, but eventually boredom set in. It could have been days later, but it was probably only hours, when I didn’t so much land as I floated onto some long grass in a huge field. I sat up and looked around. Everything had a gray quality to it, the sky, the tree in the distance, even the air felt different, strange, and I wasn’t sure I could breathe until I did and then it was okay. I heard voices but not in the distance or even next to me. They were muffled and it took me a few more minutes before I realized they were coming from inside my own head.

“What is it?” one voice asked.

“I think it’s one of them,” another responded.

“What do we do with it?”

I shook my head. It felt so strange.

“Who’s there?” I said out loud.

My voice floated on the breeze and carried out into the field where it turned and came back so I heard it a second time. An echo, but really weird.

The first voice I heard whispered, “Do you think it hears us?”

“Of course I hear you! Where are you?” I snapped.

The same weird echo carried my words back to me, only this time I could see them. I think the words were actually floating on the breeze. I shook my head again and squeezed my eyes shut.

“I don’t think that will help,” the more reasonable voice offered.

“No? What should I do then?” I kept my eyes closed and endured another repetition of my words.

“Try thinking instead of speaking.”

Hmmm, good point.

“Thank you!”

You heard that?

“Yes.”

I think it’s working then. Can you please tell me where I am?

“Well, perhaps I should start at the beginning?”

Yes please.

“I believe humans refer to us as aliens. Does that sound about right?”

I honestly didn’t know, but whatever I thought must have registered as affirmative because the voice continued.

“Many years ago, we started dying off and in our attempt to survive we discovered a portal to your world, specifically inside humans. It allowed us to live forever if we could jump from one to the next, so our engineers studied it and recreated it and most of us went through the portals and are living quite happily now inside the human race.”

So, why are you still here?

“That is a fabulous question.”

Thank you!

“Some of the portals broke or went bad. I’m not really sure of the technical reason, but we ended up back here.”

Well, why don’t you just find another portal and go through it?

“Another excellent question.”

I rolled my eyes.

“As I was about to explain to my friend here, we need a human to actually walk through a portal, carrying us inside. They no longer work the same way they once did and we have evolved from when we first went through. It is no longer possible for us to do it on our own.”

It made sense, actually.

The voice went on. “We don’t normally have to ask. Humans that come through aren’t as perceptive as you and we normally just guide them to the portal without them ever knowing of our existence. You are the first one who heard us.”

Lucky me.

That was met with silence. I guess they didn’t understand sarcasm.

What happens when we make it back? Will you leave?

“Well, no. If you will permit it, you can be our new host.”

At first I was terrified, but after thinking about it, I realized I would have what I was trying to accomplish before I went through the red door. I wouldn’t have to be alone anymore. And I would have it without worrying about angry hosts and portals and doorways. They would stay with me until I was gone.

It wasn’t much of a decision. I was so excited I said “yes” out loud and had to listen to it again a few moments later. I rolled my eyes again and stood up.

What do I do?

“Luckily, we are already inside. We will lead you to the portal and once we are back on your world, it shouldn’t take long before you return to normal. You won’t even know we are here.”

Somehow, I hope that doesn’t happen.

The voice didn’t respond to that either. Maybe it was better if I was blissfully unaware. Maybe it would be different. If I was already different than other humans that had come here, the voice probably didn’t know any better than I did what would actually happen. It didn’t matter. Even if the voices were silenced once we returned, I still knew they were there. I knew I wouldn’t be alone.

I followed the voice as it led me to a portal, back to my world and a new life.


This was written for Chuck Wendig’s flash fiction challenge where this week we were given a “this story meets that story” mash up and I randomly rolled Being John Malkovich meets Alice in Wonderland. I wasn’t even sure this was something I could do, but it’s funny how things just happen when you start writing. Although, I have to admit, there was a point yesterday where I thought this was all crap and I almost gave up on it. Luckily, I have learned to walk away and come back to things and I found that it wasn’t half bad. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I enjoyed writing it. Turns out, I actually had a lot of fun.

This is also part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G Hill.

 

One-Liner Wednesday – Chocolate Milk

Andru was pouring himself some chocolate milk on Monday morning when he said, “Did you know they were going to call it cocoa latte but they decided to call it chocolate milk instead because it’s easier?”

I was inclined to believe this because, hey, I’m not afraid to admit that my kids might have knowledge that I don’t, so I said, “Really?”

His reply? “I’m just kidding. I really have no idea.”


 

Brought to you today as part of One-Liner Wednesday hosted by Linda G. Hill. Click the link and play along.

Beautiful Love

Watching you sleep

Peacefully drifting in aimless dreams

Beauty is…

Your face in relaxed slumber

The taut energy field that stretches from where you lay to my heart as it swells

Your kind, loving soul melding with mine…

My hand cups your face

My lips touch your head

Your pulse dances under my skin

Love is you and me

And I smile

Over and over again


 

This post is part of Just Jot It January hosted by Linda G. Hill. I figured some nice lovey-dovey poetry was in order after the last few posts.

JJJ 2015