Remember this post where I lamented finding a really good book, a book I couldn’t put down, a book that blew me away with its twists and turns and left me exhausted with its emotional upheaval?
I am currently reading said book.
I woke up this morning and the first thing I thought was, this book is depressing the hell out of me and I was thinking of this blog post in terms of how horribly depressed I was and how there are no redeeming qualities in the characters of this book and I wasn’t sure if I could finish it because I was taking it so personally.
I also looked up the author on Goodreads yesterday and realized she wrote another book that I read over ten years ago that kicked my ass. I’m pretty sure I threw the book against the wall when I was done with it. It was horrid – but it was more about being far too close to home for me; an emotional gut punch. I don’t remember much about the book, actually, just that it made me cry when it shouldn’t have and it hurt to read it. I finished it, though… strangely enough.
So, yeah, this post was going to be about books and how they can torment you and how I need some redeeming qualities in the characters, otherwise it’s just depressing and are human beings really this awful?
I left work early today and have been sitting on my couch reading my eyeballs off and about halfway through the book, something changed. The author wrote a curve ball that I was not expecting and I thought, holy shit, did that just happen? I was actually bugged when my boyfriend came home and wanted to spend time with me because all I want to do is read and finish and find out what the hell is going to happen.
I want to do that as an author. I want to emotionally tear someone apart just to put their pieces back together in ways they weren’t expecting. My boyfriend is looking at me like I’m an alien because I don’t think he’s ever seen me reacting this way over a book. I suppose I haven’t read that many good books lately; books that you can’t stop talking about; books that bury themselves deep into your psyche so you can’t even function because all you can think about are the characters and it feels like your world isn’t your world anymore; you are now in that world, living that life.
It’s jarring to look around and realize I’m still here; sitting on my couch next to my boyfriend. I’m happy I won’t be working much in the next few days so I can finish this thing.
Oh, and just in case you’re wondering, the book is Gone Girl by Gyllian Flynn. I should probably wait to reveal that until I’m done, because who knows how I will feel about it by then. But hey, if an author can mess with my emotions this much in a little over half a book, I’m going to say she did her job well.
I love reading! How about you?
This post if part of Just Jot It January Hosted by Linda G Hill.