When I first started Stream of Consciousness Saturday, I would read the prompt and if I couldn’t think of anything I would wait, sometimes a full 24 hours before finally putting up a post. I told myself it was stream of consciousness writing because I didn’t edit anything once I started typing. I realized about a month in that I was doing this and stopped reading the prompt in advance. But even still, more often than not, when I read the prompt, I stare at the blank screen and my mind is as void of words as the screen is. I usually have to walk away and come back to it.
That happened today. I typed two sentences of a poem about how opposites attract and then drew a blank. I then made breakfast, talked with my boyfriend, watched some Chopped and then decided to take a shower. As it usually does, my creative-ness came alive in the shower and I was writing the poem in my head. But the thing was, I started going back to the first line and changing it and trying to see what worked best and what didn’t and it dawned on me that I wasn’t truly writing stream of conscious. I was editing even as I was thinking.
I have a tendency to over-think things, and in this case, I’m probably over-thinking it. Perhaps some of you brave souls can let me know in the comments if you do the same things or if I need to do something different in order for creativity to flow when I’m actually sitting in front of my screen.
So, I decided to start over and let whatever comes out onto the screen be my SoCS for the word “opposite”.
The first thing I thought about when I read the word was the saying opposites attract. Which, has some truth to it, but I also think it’s misleading. I think you are attracted to someone for a variety of different reasons and some of those could be things you might be lacking. There are things my boyfriend offers in our relationship that have helped curb some of my own bad habits. For example, he is a lot more patient than I am. The more patient he is, the more likely I am and have actually started to think before I react and slow down and let things be and accept what is (that doesn’t really sound like patience, but it is. Because I said so).
But I also think if you are too opposite, the relationship won’t last very long. I think we are looking for some sort of validation, especially from those closest to us. The old saying “let’s agree to disagree” is probably a great thing to have in a relationship and I think it is worth having, but how hard is it? I want my lover to agree with me and see things from my perspective. I want to share everything with him and being opposite doesn’t really serve that feeling.
Perhaps the “agree to disagree” saying is about celebrating each other’s differences and loving the other person for their thoughts and beliefs. But, honestly, how many of us actually do that? Do you find yourself trying to change that person so they will feel closer? Is that even love?
What I know about relationships is that they are hard. That goes for siblings, children, lovers and coworkers. Trying to understand another human being while keeping your own individuality is truly difficult. I believe I am getting better at it the more I see and the more interactions I have, but I don’t think it will ever be easy.
So, there you have it. The words have stopped flowing and I have written a post for today. I guess that wasn’t too hard… except the part where it was.