Wonder Not Closed

I must have been in a thoughtfully creative mood at the train station Friday, because I ended up writing my SoCS post on the train and starting the process of the story poem below.

I saw an older gentleman sitting on a bench while waiting for the train and the first two lines were born. It was when I got home that I started thinking about it in terms of a poem and then went and researched a poem that my good friend Shanjeniah has posted on her blog a few times. I loved her takes on it and wanted to try it the minute I read hers, so thanks, Lady! (I apologize for not linking to the actual poems. I’m feeling lazy and wasn’t sure of the titles, so not even sure how to find them, but you should check her blog out. She’s fabulous!)

It’s called a blitz poem. I usually like to write free-form poetry, most likely because the more rules I have to follow, the less creative I feel. The weird thing is, this poem has a lot of rules; but I still loved it and loved what came of it. The only thing I’m not sure I love is the title, but I’m one of those people that follows rules, whether they really matter or not. So, here’s my first take on this type of poem written as part of Just Jot It January.

I hope you enjoy!

Wonder Not Closed

Sitting at the station
Sitting in sublime wonder
Wonder about life
Wonder about the past
Past achievements
Past mistakes
Mistakes eating at his mind
Mistakes tearing up his heart
Heart shattered on broken dreams
Heart still beating
Beating slower
Beating down
Down down down
Down in the depths
Depths of despair
Depths seen in eternity
Eternity in life
Eternity with her
Her eyes shone bright
Her smile so lovely
Lovely was their time
Lovely union
Union built upon hope
Union strengthened with trust
Trust is earned
Trust can be broken
Broken in lies
Broken with secrecy
Secrecy creeping into his mind
Secrecy causing her doubt
Doubt his love
Doubt sinking in
In the depths of her heart
In every waking thought
Thought of him
Thought of hope
Hope realized
Hope holding on
On through the dark
On to happiness
Happiness found
Happiness filling forever
Forever with him
Forever with her
Her eyes slowly dimmed
Her eyes finally closed
Closed around love
Closed with a smile
Smile
Love

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8 thoughts on “Wonder Not Closed

  1. Okay, I’m officially blushing….

    So cool what you did with this! It pulled me right in, and didn’t let up till the end.

    I’m with you on the title thing. I’ve been tempted to change mine, but have thus far stuck with the rules…

    But the poems! Something about the form seems to always pull up a deep pulse, and vived imagery, and a story…it’s wonderful.

    I love that my poems inspired you so you could go forth and create this bit of loveliness. ❤
    Hope you don't mind if I link one of my blitzes here (I'm in the middle of three blogposts and hometending, so I don't want to look up the other one now, either…).

    http://shanjeniah.com/2014/12/31/wippet-wednesday-cowl-invites-touch/

    Liked by 1 person

    • I mentioned it hoping you would! I would love others to read what inspired me to look up the rules and write one of my own.

      It was a bit like a drug and I almost can’t wait to write another one! 🙂 I’m happy you liked it.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Pingback: Love Is In Da Blog – Years and Back | This Thing Called Life One Word at a Time

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