I’m finding that there are times when I just need a reset; a full stop; a “whoa, slow the hell down and take it easy” day or two; not only with my writing but with my exercising as well. I’m starting to wonder if both these activities require a small lack of sense. Is it really sensible to write words and create characters and put them down on paper (read computer)? Is it really sensible to run until your muscles are sore and your lungs hurt and you feel like you can’t move?
That makes it sound like I don’t like what I’m doing, but the truth is, I love them both. They have both become serious passions in my life, and sense or not, I’m going to continue doing both. I just need to find how they work in my life so I don’t need this full-stop, recharge moments that start out as one day and sometimes turn into a whole week.
I started NaNoWriMo like a whole bunch of other people but didn’t finish. I know there are many people who do the same. The one thing it did was recharge my love for my WIP and I have more words than I did before the beginning of November. It also made me realize that so many of you writers out there who have offered advise about writing were absolutely correct. In order to get down your first draft, you have to let go of perfection and just get the words down. I was doing that, going along better than I thought when I happened to write some things that I thought were crap. At that point, I stopped and couldn’t even bring myself to look at it and then it was like all sense had left me and I went, I don’t know, three weeks without even thinking about it. Last week, I finally decided to read that last part that totally freaked me out, and you know what? It wasn’t half bad. So, I learned some lessons during NaNoWriMo that I think will help me going forward and I have more words to show for it, I just don’t have 50,000 words to show for it.
But you know what? That’s okay too. (Or at least, I need to tell myself this rather than the torrent of bad stuff I normally tell myself about not achieving a goal). Writing and even exercising are more about the journey for me, even though I have a goal I’m working towards.
I ran in our Utah Human Race on Thanksgiving Day. It was pretty amazing knowing that at least half the proceeds go to the Food Bank. I’m happy my sister-in-law signed us up as a team and even though I was the only one who ran the 5k, it recharged my love for running. It also made me wonder how much sense there is in it. Who runs in 30 degree weather with wind blowing in your face and making your eyes water and run, freezing down your face? Who enjoys that?
Apparently I do.
Before Thursday, I hadn’t run or really exercised in about two weeks. I was feeling lazy and pretty horrible, but the weather really freaked me out. It don’t think it’s so much the weather as it is the lack of light. Running in the dark isn’t as fun as running in the full light of day (for me, at least).
I guess what this post is about is that I’m still a work in progress. I’m still trying to figure it all out. Maybe I never will. Maybe I will always have days or weeks where I have to just stop and rest and then start it all up again. Maybe that’s my process and I don’t even know it?
I’m going to repeat what I said above, but that’s okay because SoCS…
Sense or not, I love writing and running and I’m going to continue struggling through and doing what I love however I can, even if that means taking some time off to recharge.
Thank you all for tuning into my late SoCS post (because I was in a recharge moment yesterday and didn’t want to force myself to write anything). Linda prompted us with the words sense/scents/cents/sent.