This was written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday hosted by Linda G Hill where this week we were prompted to write about shape.
The Shape of Autumn
October is one of those months that is both my favorite and least favorite month all at the same time. October is really the depths of Autumn where the trees are changing colors so rapidly you could almost see it happening if you stopped and watched; the air is crisp and either cold enough to see your breath or the sun is so hot it’s almost hotter than the hottest day in summer; there is also the smell of burnt leaves, that familiar smell that announces Autumn better than any other smell. Put all together, it is a shape I love – the shape of Autumn.
There is also something that is rather difficult. I realized today it’s almost like my body can feel the sun falling further away and I know it’s only a few short weeks before the sun shines less and less. It’s not so much the cold or the snow; it’s really the lack of sun. It’s almost like I start fighting every day for specks of happiness, which strikes me as crazy since I love Autumn. Of all the seasons, it has the most depth.
Since I started running a few years ago, it seemed to be something I did in Spring and Summer and I had always stopped or stagnated by the time Autumn came around. I was running Monday evening and realized this was the perfect weather to run in. My running times have reflected my love, although I’m not sure if that can all be attributed to the season, but I think some of it can. There is something so lovely about running through leaves crunching under my feet and the feel of cool wind in my hair. I’m also loving running just about the time the sun falls behind the Mountains in the west. It also freaks me out because the time I run every day will soon be shrouded in darkness and I might have to start thinking of long sleeves and lights or reflective gear… the thought of running on the treadmill makes me cringe even more than the thought of running in the cold darkness of early evening.
This is truly a stream of consciousness post because I feel like I have so much to say and yet I feel like I’ve said what I wanted to…
The shape of Autumn is truly beautiful to me, but it is also hard to feel depression setting in; I have to fight harder and harder every day for clarity and light. But the feel, sounds and smells of Autumn all make up for it in so many ways. If I can just hold on to those moments, spend time in those feelings that Autumn gives me, I can stay above the darkness hovering just on the horizon. Most days I win.
I hope you are all having a lovely Autumn day, wherever you may be!