Eighteen Years In A Blink

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This post was written for Stream of Consciousness Saturday.  This week, Linda prompted us to write about time.

Eighteen Years In A Blink

Time.  There’s always so little and at times, far too much.  Like when you’re pregnant and everyone else around you says the pregnancy has gone by so fast but you are seriously ONLY in week 28 and there are still 12 weeks to go and you already feel huge.  Those are probably the longest weeks I can remember.  The last two or three months of pregnancy.  Then there’s the interminable dark hours in the middle of the night when, no matter what you do, you can’t get the screaming baby to sleep or to even just settle down.  But honestly, looking back on those times, I wonder how it all came to this point so quickly.

18 years and I feel like there just isn’t enough time.  I need more time to tell her how much I love her and to impart my motherly wisdom on her.  I need more time to just spend with her and be with her, laughing and listening to music.  I need more time to cry with her over flighty friend issues that come and go quicker than I can blink, but when she’s devastated by it, I’m sure it seems like her world will end.  I need more time with my baby girl before she flies three thousand miles away.  But the time has flown and we are now on the very day where we fly away and within a short span of four days, I will board another plane on my return trip home, leaving her behind.  (I posted a while back that we were going to drive to North Carolina, but after some serious consideration, we decided that flying was the best option.  I’m somewhat sad that we won’t have three days in the car together, filling up space in our hearts and minds with each other’s company, but we do have the next four days and a long-ass plane ride! Well, the longest one I’ve ever been on anyway, which tells you a little something about my travelling experience, or lack thereof.)

In all honesty, I am so happy for her.  So excited to witness her growth and maturity.  We went to dinner a few days ago and I told her we all had it backwards.  She wasn’t going to call every day and she wasn’t going to freak out and want to come home in a month.  No, most likely I will be the one calling her every day and bugging the shit out of her until she yells at me to leave her alone.  She really is far more ready for this than I must admit I am.

It helps me to cling to this moment right now.  It is truly the only one that matters.  Be present every moment and enjoy the person you are with immensely and immeasurably.  Give everything you have to the present.  The next four days, I know they will fly by as time is wont to do, but I will make each and every moment I have with my daughter the best they can be.  (It sounds like I’m saying goodbye to her for the last time, which I’m not, but it sure as hell feels like it in this moment!)

One of my favorite movies is Meet Joe Black and this post and the subject of time made me think of a quote from the movie.  So, I will leave you with that because it seems so fitting.  It is William Parrish giving his birthday speech, his final speech.

“I thought I was going to sneak away tonight. What a glorious night. Every face I see is a memory. It may not be a perfectly perfect memory. Sometimes we had our ups and downs. But we’re all together, and you’re mine for a night. And I’m going to break precedent and tell you my one candle wish: that you would have a life as lucky as mine, where you can wake up one morning and say, ‘I don’t want anything more.’ Sixty-five years. Don’t they go by in a blink?”

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11 thoughts on “Eighteen Years In A Blink

  1. What beautiful thoughts you have written. How wonderful that you have had such a close relationship with your daughter. You are a wonderful mother. Enjoy your plane trip, and the awesome memories that you will make with her in the next 4 days.

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    • You figured out how to change your name!! 🙂

      Thank you. I’m going to do my best to enjoy the next four days and have fun. It’s hard not to be sad though. I’m really going to miss her!

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  2. Awww… I’m almost in tears. I know it’s cliche but it’s so true – our kids do grow up SO fast! And I thought it was bad when mine moved out and up the street!
    Enjoy these few days together, and just think – in years to come you’ll be sitting together again and remembering this time as only yesterday. 🙂

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    • I have to admit that I cried a little bit when I wrote it. I know it is a fleeting moment and things will be different a year from now or five years from now. Thank you for your kind words, Linda. 🙂

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  3. You’re on the cusp of one change, and I’m on another, counting down to the day I become the mother of a teenager.

    It took him almost 43 interminable weeks in 90+ degree Montana weather to get here – and, yup, I blinked, and he’s almost taller than me!

    I love the wisdom of this message, and I know you will both savor these days. ❤

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    • Thank you, Shanjeniah. For all everyone gripes about parenting teenagers, I find it is a refreshing change. Although with it comes very little time before they go off to live their lives separate from ours. 😉

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      • I’m really looking forward to it. I’ve met so many amazing teens and their happy parents (a lovely side effect of unschooling is getting to know other unschooling families!), I KNOW it will be a wild and wonderful ride.

        I’m already feeling some of the poignancy of Jeremiah’s impending adulthood. It used to be far off; now it feels more like it’s just around the corner, peeking at me.

        I intend to enjoy the heck out of these next years, and hopefully see him into adulthood happy, confident, and prepared to embrace his life as he has these first 12 years!

        Liked by 1 person

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