Zit-Faced Idiots

This is what happens when I actually trust my process.  I bang out a story the day after the challenge is posted.  In case you couldn’t tell, I’m rather stoked about it!  Can’t say it will happen every time, but it was nice this time.

Turn-a-trope Tuesday has been hauled over, redefined and renamed.  It is now Trope-Tastic Thursday in which we are still using tropes, it’s just up to the author to either play it straight or turn it on it’s head.  This week’s Trope is Vocal Dissonance (Mike Tyson, anyone?).  I definitely think I played it straight, maybe even a little loosely, but it’s in there.  It’s the first thing I thought of, since my son is about that age.

The story is about teenage boys, so there is some swearing involved.  (If you think your teenagers don’t swear when you’re not around, think again!)  Anyway, just a heads up for those who don’t like that sort of thing.

Coming in slightly over 1,000 words, I hope you enjoy!

Zit-Faced Idiots

The final bell rang and Ben jumped up, his desk sliding sideways in his haste. He was the first one to the door. He hadn’t planned it, he just wanted to get the hell out of this dung hole.

Stepping into the chaos-filled hallway, he shoved and pushed his way to his locker. Jerking it open, he unceremoniously threw his books in. He might have homework in a few classes, but meh. He had better things to do. He slammed the door shut, leaving the mangled books and crushed papers behind.

“Hey, Ben! We still hanging out after school?” Josh walked up and punched him in the arm.

“Sure.”

“Cool. Freddie’s gonna come. That okay?”

“Whatever. Not like we have solid plans.”

Josh leered at him and grinned. “We do now!”

“Huh?”

“You’ll see. It’s gonna be awesome.” Josh took off down the hall.

Ben caught up with him outside where he was bent over, apparently laughing at Freddie. “What’s so funny?”

“Oh my God, dude. You should’ve heard it. He walks up all deep, growly voice and the next instant it’s like someone grabbed his balls!”

“Fuck you, Josh.” Freddie was looking slightly red around the edges.

Ben sympathized. Junior high was like a death pit of deep voices turning to squeaks in seconds, zit-faced idiots and boners. Just one more year, he thought. By then, he could only hope his face was more clear and his voice was more settled into its tone, whatever that was going to be. Right now, he couldn’t count on either.

He cleared his throat, a little leery of the squeak himself. As it turned out, his voice came out even deeper than normal.

“Hey, Josh, didn’t your sister kick you in the sack last night? And weren’t you curled up on the floor balling like a baby for a good five minutes?”

Josh immediately stopped laughing and his face turned a few different shades of red. “Fuck you, Ben.”

“Now that we’ve got that out of the way…” Ben started walking down the street and the others followed, sulking. Ben let them, knowing it wouldn’t last. Some teenage sulks could last for days, he knew. He was currently in the middle of one directed right at his dad. He couldn’t quite remember what for, but he wasn’t about to let it go. Friends were different, though.

“So, what’s this thing we’re gonna do?”

Freddie and Josh had finally caught up.

“We need to stop at my house first. But, you know that house with the old lady who yells at us all the time?”

“Yeah…”

“Well, we’re gonna give her something she’ll never forget!” Josh high-fived Freddie and they both laughed.

Ben raised an eyebrow at Josh. “Uh, what do you mean?”

“Promise you’ll do it?”

“No. I gotta know what it is.”

“Why do you always have to be the asshole of the group?”

“I don’t know. Why do you smell like dog shit?”

Freddie burst out in a laugh that ended in a high-pitched squeal. He clamped his hands on his mouth, his eyes bugging out of his face. Ben and Josh laughed so hard they had to stop walking and ended up doubled over.

“Fuck! I hate it when that happens.” Freddie kept walking. It happened to all of them at least ten times a day. They all got a good laugh in before letting it go and moving on.

They reached Josh’s house and Ben and Freddie loitered on the grass out front while Josh ran inside. He was back within minutes, holding a carton of eggs.

Ben took one look and started walking home. “Count me out.”

“Come on, dude! It’ll be fun.” Josh ran in front of Ben and turned so he was walking backwards. “Just, I don’t know, come hang out. You don’t have to throw any.”

“What if you get caught? Did you think of that?” Ben kept walking.

“We’re not gonna get caught. This neighborhood is a ghost town this time of day.” Freddie put out his hand and stopped walking, forcing Ben to stop. “I thought we were friends, dude. Besides, that old lady is a cow. She deserves what she gets. You were bitching about it harder than anyone the last time she kicked us off her street.”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t mean I wanna egg her house!”

“Come on! Just come with us! Stop being such a pansy!”

Ben looked at Josh, then down at the eggs. “Fine. Whatever. But I’m not throwing any.”

“Fine. Cool. Whatever. Let’s Go!”

The old lady’s house was on the next street over and it didn’t take long before they were standing in front of it. The street was deserted except for a few younger kids playing in their front yard. They waited for a lone car to drive by, but once it turned the corner, Josh and Freddie unloaded on the house, laughing and yelling like idiots. Ben took a seat on the grass a few houses down and watched as the eggs splattered on the door, slithering to a puddle on the porch. They landed a few good ones on the window that surprisingly didn’t break it.

Once all the eggs had been dispensed, Freddie and Josh turned to each other, high-fiving and chest bumping. Soon, they were on the ground, wrestling and hollering. Ben watched, thinking he was gonna go home and play some video games when he heard the siren.

“Oh shit!”

Ben was the first one off the ground, running like hell down the street. It didn’t take the others long to catch up and they all high-tailed it to Josh’s house, running inside and slamming the door. Freddie collapsed against the living room wall, heaving.

“Do you think they were coming for us?”

“I didn’t think anyone saw us.”

“Uh, guys?  We’re in deep shit.” Ben’s squeaky voice went unnoticed.

They all watched through the window as the police car stopped in front of Josh’s house.

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10 thoughts on “Zit-Faced Idiots

    • Ha! Trope-tastic! I love it.

      Thank you. These guys were fun, although they got into my head a bit and I started talking/acting a bit like them. My boyfriend didn’t quite know what to think of me. Once you realize it, it stops, but it’s funny how it can sneak up on you. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    • When you think of writing 1,000 words of flash fiction it seems so huge it’s daunting. But then you go back and read it and realize it was over in a “flash”. I suppose that’s why we create longer works. Although, it isn’t a bad thing to keep you coming back for more. 😉 I’m happy you liked it!

      Like

  1. Pingback: Trope-Tastic Thursday #002 – “Never Was This Universe” – #WOEGTTT | Woegman's World of Witty Wonder

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